A New Beginning EPILOGUE

New Year’s Eve

“You know I love you and would do anything for you, right?” Richard said to his fiancée as she arranged champagne flutes on a tray in the kitchen.

The sound of laughter and happy voices clung to the air. It hadn’t been his idea to host a New Year’s Eve party, but Maya’s sisters wanted to get together, and then Ryan had gotten wind of the gathering so had invited himself and Ivy and their baby over. That had led to the entire Bailey clan attending as well. He was fine with it, especially since it made Maya happy. The bonus was that it seemed like Abby had made a fast friend in Bettina Donovan, Julia, and Chase’s daughter. Really, everyone was having the time of their lives, except him.

Maya looked over at him, her eyes sparkling, as though she already knew what he was thinking. “Richard…”

He put his hand on her waist, on the thin fabric of the bombshell red dress she was wearing, and pulled her into him. Her breath caught as their bodies made contact—he felt the same way. “So because of that, I agreed to this hosting all these…people.”

“Family,” she whispered, pressing her hands on the front of his shirt. The diamond on her hand sparkled under the lights, and it made him feel proud and excited to see it on her finger.

“I really think we should have spent the night alone. You could have worn this dress, I could have taken it—”

“Dad, you’ll never be alone again, remember?”

He shut his eyes and counted his blessings as Maya laughed in his arms and answered Abby. “You’re right, Abby.”

Abby beamed up at them, and he couldn’t help but return the earnest smile, despite his prior feelings of…frustration. She grabbed a handful of raspberries and then bolted out of the room. “She’s all you,” Maya whispered, reaching up to kiss him.

He kissed her back, making desperate Christmas wishes, despite the holiday already being gone and despite already wishing for these things on Christmas Eve. But he was a desperate man, so he wished for early bedtimes, privacy, and the night with Maya.

“It’s almost midnight!” Celeste yelled out.

“Get the tray. I’ll get the champagne,” Maya said, patting him on the chest. “It’ll be fine, Richard. We’ll be alone…at some point,” she said, wincing, knowing it wasn’t true at all.

He followed her into the great room, plastering what he hoped was a friendly smile on his face. At the stroke of midnight, he kissed Maya with the knowledge that another year was starting and a new life was beginning.

Soon they were saying goodbye to guests, and he realized inviting people with kids over was the best way to go since they all left early.

“Can Abby come sleep at our house?” Bettina asked, standing with her parents at the door.

Abby was jumping up and down, and the two girls raced to Abby’s room. “I’ll get my stuff!” Abby yelled.

“Oh, no, I know it’s New Year’s. I don’t want to impose,” Richard said.

“Not at all,” Julia answered. “We’d love to have her. She and Bettina get along so well, and it would be nice for her to have someone her own age to play within the house,” she said, pointing to the baby sleeping in Chase’s arms.

“Really, we’d love to have her. We have a brunch to go to, so we can drop her off around eleven tomorrow if that’s okay with you,” Chase said.

He nodded, trying not to look elated by the prospect of having an empty house. “Okay, that’s great.”

Abby came running out, and he and Maya helped her with her things. “Abby, mind your manners and listen to what the Donovans tell you, okay?”

She nodded and gave them both a big hug. “Of course, Dad. But please don’t say anything else or you’ll embarrass me,” she whispered.

He nodded and straightened up. They waved as they made their way down the walkway. He closed the door and turned to look at Maya. The house was empty. The Christmas tree shone, the trains still zooming beneath the tree on their tracks, glasses and trays of food and empty plates littering the place. It looked like a home that was filled with love. But he could contemplate that and how far he’d come tomorrow. Right now, he had to say some kind of thanks up above for granting his Christmas wishes.

“So are you going to stand there staring at me or make good on some of those promises?” Maya said with a smile that sent blood pumping through his veins with force.

He leaned down to kiss the woman that had taught him the meaning of family and had shown him the true road to success and happiness.

He was starting over with the only woman capable of making him wish again.

A/N:

Adapted from Victoria James’ A Christmas Miracle for the Doctor.

Should have been a light story, but sometimes adults just make things a little more complicated that they really are LOL! I hope you still enjoyed reading.

A New Beginning 13

They did the wagon rides, they drank the hot chocolate, they watched the school play, they shopped the stores, they ate gingerbread men.

And he’d had to walk away from Maya one more time.

“Dad, I’m all ready for bed,” Abby yelled.

Richard let out a rough sigh and crossed the living room of their house, feeling the emptiness that had really been noticeable lately. Since Maya. He had nothing left in him. He was physically and emotionally exhausted. He had to be at work tomorrow morning, and he had a full day of surgeries. He couldn’t let his mind wander. He smiled at Abby as she stared at him, all tucked into her bed but looking solemn. “You look tired.”

She shrugged. He expected her to smile, but she looked at him with those eyes that seemed to gut him. “I guess. Dad, do you want to talk to me?”

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?” he asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

“No, I mean, do you need to tell me something?”

Hell, his eight year old had detected he needed advice? “I’m okay, Abby. Don’t you worry about me.”

She winced, like she really didn’t believe his assessment about himself. “You should maybe try making a wish.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Seriously. That’s what Maya says to do. Christmas wishes.”

He smoothed her hair away from her face, looking into her eyes, the earnestness there, and wished he could make Christmas wishes, that that was the answer. He searched for an answer that wouldn’t crush her spirit. “Sometimes you can’t make wishes for the things you really want because you don’t know how to put them into words.”

She frowned up at him. “You don’t know what you want for Christmas?”

He shook his head. “When I was a kid, it was easy. I wanted things that could be bought. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew there were certain things I’d never get.”

“Like the train set at the Toy Shop?”

He stilled. “How did you know about that?”

She shrugged, smiling mischievously. “Christmas is magic. I can’t reveal all the magic.”

He let out a short laughter and ruffled her hair. “Okay. Fair enough. I won’t ask more questions.”

“But what about the things you can’t buy? Did you wish for any of those?”

He sensed his daughter knew a heck of a lot more about his romantic life than he’d thought. “I, uh, haven’t thought about those.” He had. He’d thought about Maya every single day. He wasn’t able to sleep without thinking about Maya and how the hell he’d managed to screw things up. He had promised himself not to get involved. Not only did he get involved, he fell in love, like the kind of love his parents had talked about. The kind of love that happened fast and without warning but that you knew was right.

“You should think a little harder, Dad.”

He cleared his throat. “Pardon?”

She smoothed out the covers around her and raised a little eyebrow, looked at him as though she were the adult. “Think really hard, Dad. Who is missing?”

“Mom.”

She clutched the edge of her pink quilt. “Yes, but we already know that. Who is the other person we love that isn’t here?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maya.”

She nodded slowly. “Why?”

He let out a rough sigh and leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his thighs. “It’s complicated, Abby. Adult stuff. But you still see Maya all the time.”

“Maya looks just as sad as you.”

He looked over at Abby sharply. She nodded wisely. “Abby, Maya will always be our friend. But you and I have to go on and learn to be a family together.”

She reached out to grab his hand, and he looked down at it as he grasped it dearly. How many times this year had she reached for his hand? More than maybe in her whole life. She’d trusted him again this year.

“I thought you love Maya?”

“Why did you think that?” he asked, shocked his daughter knew all this.

“Because you were always so happy when you saw her. You’d have a funny smile on your face, you’d be extra nice, you’d say funny things. And Maya would have the same look. Every time you came to pick me after work, she’d look all nervous, and most of the time she would brush her hair quickly and look out the window a thousand times to see if you were there. These are all signs people are in love, Dad,” she said, patting his hand like he was a moron adult she needed to give love advice to. His stomach clenched just thinking about Maya looking out for him. Had they been that obvious? Had he been that transparent?

“Abby, you make me happy too. I know that me and Mom getting divorced hasn’t been easy for you. It makes me sad you had to go through that. My parents always stayed together, and I never worried about them splitting up. I don’t want to do anything that might hurt you again.”

She sat up abruptly and hugged him from the side. “I love you, Dad. If we are together, nothing will hurt me again.”

He drew a shaky breath and kissed the top of her head, humbled by her faith in him. They had come a long way in a year. Or maybe she’d always been there, always waiting for him. Maybe it was just him who’d come a long way. “I’ll do my best, sweetie.”

“Maybe you can do that for Maya, too. You can marry her and then make sure nothing bad happens to her.”

He pulled back to look down at her. “Abby…it’s not that simple. I love that you think I can do all these things, but I can’t. I can try. But I can’t…be with Maya because it’s not fair to you. It should just be me and you for a while.”

“But Maya is already part of our family. I love her. You love her. We all love each other, so that makes us a family anyway. And family should be together at Christmas. Last Christmas was the best one I ever had. I just couldn’t tell you that because I didn’t know if it would ever happen again.”

The lump in his throat grew, and the memory of the two of them sitting in his penthouse, eating pizza on the carpet in the living room struck him. How unsure he’d been. How consumed with guilt he’d been. How ill-equipped he’d been to be a father. Somehow, he’d learned. Somehow, he’d given this little girl what she needed. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was that her needs were truly simple, to be loved unconditionally. “That was my best Christmas, Abby,” he said hoarsely.

“Maybe this can be our best Christmas if we ask Maya to be part of it.”

“You love Maya so much, don’t you?”

She nodded vigorously. “As much as you love her.”

He smiled. There was no fooling Abby. She was smart and astute, and he loved that. “So you wouldn’t be upset if Maya and I…were together?”

She clapped her hands and let out a squeal. “Marry her! We can live here as a family!”

He knew it wasn’t that simple. As much as his daughter thought it would be, he knew there would be ups and downs. He knew Alexandra would complicate things. He knew that along the way, Abby would be confused at times. He also knew that one day Maya would want children, and he would want that with her…and that would bring out a new host of issues. But maybe that was what life was all about. Maybe he didn’t need to be perfect. Maybe what he’d been chasing had been all wrong. Maybe he just needed to be the best man he could be and that would be enough for the women in his life. He needed to give them the best of himself. He cleared his throat and shot her a look. “I may have told Maya that I couldn’t do that again.”

Abby inhaled sharply and then threw her hands in the air. “Dad! Don’t do things like that without asking me first. I can help you.”

He laughed out loud and reached out to hug her. “How did you get so smart?”

She beamed at him. “My dad is so smart. Now, let’s come up with a plan so you can beg Maya to forgive you. I’ll help you. Don’t worry.”

…

Maya poured herself a glass of wine, turned on the television, and sat down on her couch for what was probably the first time since Richard had been lying on top of her on her couch. She glared at her Christmas tree and scrolled through the channels until she came upon a Hallmark Christmas movie. She wanted to yell to the heroine that it was all going to end in disaster but thought that yelling out loud by herself to a television was bordering on insanity.

She drank her wine instead. It was Christmas Eve, and Cel was working, and Rafi and Charlie were spending it with Finn in the hospital. She was fine being by herself. Her mother was off on a cruise after sending a group text to all of them claiming she needed time to figure out where she’d gone wrong in life.

She looked at her tree and then the gifts under it. Her heart ached at all the beautifully wrapped packages she’d painstakingly wrapped for Richard and Abby. She would still give the gifts for Abby, but she felt silly giving Richard his gifts. The one time she’d gone out on a limb, thinking that she was good enough for the man of her dreams, her heart had been broken. Maybe he was going to see Alexandra. Maybe he and Abby were on their way to Chicago right now. That would be nice. She would be happy for Abby.

For herself? She would just…drink wine until everything was slightly blurry. Then it would be Christmas morning, and that would be the last day of this torture. New Year’s was coming up; that would be the perfect time to make some bold New Year’s resolutions. Things like…avoid all hot doctors, avoid all hot men in general, avoid men still in love with their exes, avoid men with kids because she’d get too attached. Basically, stay indoors.

She eyed the pillow she’d thrown at Richard and picked it up, smelling it like a sad, pathetic loser. Of course it didn’t still smell like him. She tossed it across the room and lifted up her Minnie Mouse slipper-clad feet onto the coffee table. Who needed Richard anyway? She couldn’t be mad at a man for putting his child first—that was one of the things she loved about him. So, fine. She could be mad at herself, though, for allowing herself to get involved with a man who couldn’t be in a relationship again while fixing his own life. There. But that didn’t solve anything.

Here she was, one more Christmas, alone.

The knock at the door made her heart skip a beat, but that was silly because it was probably just Cel who had gotten off work early. It’s not like Richard, the man of her dreams, would be standing at her door on Christmas Eve, ready to declare his undying love for her and with a solution that would allow all of them to be happy.

“Maya, open the door!” Abby’s sweet, but demanding, voice caused her to jump up and look down in horror at herself because she was dressed in red plaid flannel pajamas.

The knocking at the door grew louder, and judging by the sound of the thumping, Abby had help. She swallowed hard and placed her glass of wine down on the coffee table and slowly made her way to open the door.

Her vision blurred with tears at the sight of father and daughter on her doorstep. Abby was in her nightgown and pink winter boots, holding Richard’s hand, smiling up at her. She smiled back at the little girl and lifted her eyes to Richard…who looked awful. His hair was disheveled and his stubble was a few days old, his eyes were bloodshot, and he was wearing jeans and a sweater.

“Don’t worry about Dad. He’s not dead. He just misses you,” Abby said. “Can we come inside, Maya?”

Maya blinked back tears and nodded, moving aside. Abby walked in as though she lived here, but Richard stood in front of her, looking at her as though his entire world had come to an end. “How are you?” she whispered.

“He’s awful! Dad, tell Maya what you have to tell her.”

“She’s right,” he said, his voice thick and raspy. “I’m awful. I thought I could do this. I thought I could stay away from you, but I can’t because—”

“Because we love you, Maya, and we want you to be part of our family,” Abby said, standing in front of her now.

Maya gasped and looked down at the little girl whom she’d come to love so much. Abby was staring up at her with trust and faith and unshed tears, and Maya knew how hard this must be for her, to have faith in a new adult. Maya crouched down and hugged her tightly. “I love you so much, Abby,” she whispered.

Abby squeezed her painfully before pulling back. “I love you too, Maya.”

“Abby,” Richard said hoarsely. “Remember we talked about giving me some privacy with Maya for a few minutes?”

Abby looked up at him and nodded. “Yup. I was just helping because you seemed to not know what to say.”

“But you weren’t supposed to be somewhere you could hear,” he said patiently.

Maya bit her lips and tried not to laugh. “Abby, there’s a Christmas movie on if you want to go watch that,” she said.

Abby nodded. “Got it. Privacy. You’ll see, Maya, I’m really good at listening. You won’t have to worry about that.”

Maya’s heart squeezed. “Wait,” she said to the little girl, not able to let her go just yet. “Abby, you never have to worry about doing something to make me leave you. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Abby gave her a wobbly smile.

Maya blew her a kiss before the little girl ran to the couch. She felt Richard’s hand gently grasp hers, and she turned around to look up at him. His eyes were glistening and his jaw was clenching and unclenching. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out a way to do this. I didn’t end things because I didn’t love you enough. It’s just the opposite. None of this had to do with Alexandra or wanting to get back together with her. That was never an option for me. I wanted you to have the best of everything, because you deserve that, and I didn’t think I had that to offer. But, uh, as Abby pointed out to me, we don’t have to be perfect to be right for each other. I have never met anyone like you. I have never loved anyone like you. This last year, I’ve learned more than I have in my entire adult life. Part of that is learning what kind of man I wanted to be. I want to be the kind of man who puts his family first, and as Abby said, you’re part of our family. If you want to be. If you’ll have us.”

She was crying as she nodded. He picked her up and hugged her close. “I love you so much,” she whispered against his neck.

He put her down and framed her face with his hands. “I want to spend the night here,” he said against her lips. A delicious shiver stole through her as she pulled him down to kiss her. Richard was everything she’d ever dreamed about all those lonely nights by herself. She’d dream of a man who loved her as she was, who was noble and strong and smart. He was all those things, but what she hadn’t known back then was what love would feel like. She hadn’t known that she would feel it in the way he looked at her, the way he held her, the way he kissed her.

They stopped kissing when they heard Abby clearing her throat. They looked down at her. “We can spend the night. Let’s have a sleepover at Maya’s! See, I’m great at solving problems, Maya.”

They laughed, and Richard picked Abby up, his hand reaching for Maya’s.

Maya smiled at the two of them, remembering that night in her shop when she’d made her wish. She’d wished for the little girl to be truly happy again. She could never have imagined that her wish would lead to all of them finding happiness together.

A New Beginning 12

Maya adjusted her elf skirt as she stood by the rink, trying to catch a glimpse of Abby and Richard. She tried not to stare at the rink because she didn’t want to think back to high school, but when she looked out at the crowds, she was reminded of all the happy families and couples here tonight. She wasn’t one of them.

True to his word, she and Abby continued to see each other every day the past week. They had rehearsed every night; they had laughed and read stories together. She’d helped Abby write a Christmas story for Richard, and then they’d bound it and had it laminated. Abby had picked out wrapping paper at the store and had wrapped it up for him.

Every night when Richard came to pick her up, they’d exchange polite hellos and nothing more. Every night she’d cried herself to sleep because she loved them both, and somewhere along the way she’d actually dreamed about what it would be like to spend every day with Richard and Abby.

“Maya!”

Maya looked up to see Abby running toward her, arms flailing, looking adorable in her own elf costume. Richard was walking behind her, looking as handsome as usual. Maya knelt down to receive an exuberant hug from Abby. “I’m so excited,” Abby said, her eyes sparkling and wide.

“Me too, sweetie,” Maya said, standing up and swallowing her nerves over having to perform tonight.

Abby waved to some of the kids that were starting to approach the rink. “Can I go say hi to my friends, Dad?”

Richard nodded. “Sure, just stay close by.”

“Hi,” he said, walking up to her.

She tugged at the short green skirt and tried to look calm and collected. “Abby looks adorable.”

“So do you. Hell, sorry,” he said, looking away. “Maya, you don’t have to do this. I know you promised Abby, but we can come up with something. I can go out there.”

“We both know that would be a disaster. Richard, I’m fine. There’s no way I’m going back on my promise to her. It’s time I moved on. Besides, Celeste is on standby in case someone throws eggs tonight.”

He looked at her sharply, anger on his handsome features.

“I’m joking. As if that would happen. But Cel is here. She’s in the first row with Ryan and Ivy and their baby. You should sit with them. Abby and I will come over when our number is done.”

“I’ve been thinking about our situation,” he said gruffly, coming closer to her.

“Maya, it’s time to get our skates on!” Abby said, running over to her. Suddenly, chaos erupted as kids and their mothers rushed to get ready for the show.

“Go, we’ll be fine,” Maya said, grabbing Abby’s hand and walking to the bench.

Richard stood there, the look on his face unreadable. “Good luck, girls,” he said, giving them a forced smile. Her heart squeezed as he gave Abby a wink before walking away.

“Maya, I’m so excited,” Abby said as Maya tied her laces. “I’m not even too sad that Mom’s not here. I mean, I wish she was here, and when she texted Dad today to say she wasn’t coming, I didn’t even cry because I knew you were going to be here.”

Maya took a deep breath. “There’s no place in the world I’d rather be, Abby. Let’s go out there and make your dad proud.”

Abby nodded and stood. Maya grabbed her little hand, and they walked over, waiting for the show to start, waiting for their routine to begin. She squeezed her hand and looked down at the little girl that had come to mean so much to her and smiled. She felt ready to conquer the ice and her old wounds.

…

Richard smiled at the adorable baby drooling all over his friend’s shoulder as he waited for the show to start. “Here, can you hold her for a second? My phone is going off, and I’m on call this weekend,” Ryan said, handing the baby over.

Celeste and Ivy had gone to get hot chocolates before the show, and it was just him, Ryan, and their baby. Richard stared into the baby girl’s eyes, and emotion clogged his throat. She stared at him with all the trust in the world, with all the self-assurance of a well-loved baby. He struggled with the thoughts and feelings coursing through him, because this little baby made him think of the two girls in his own life, the ones about to take to the ice. He thought of their own struggles in a world that had made them feel less worthy. He hated himself for his own contribution to that. He’d spend the rest of his life making it up to Abby. But this little girl in his arms, she had parents who had it together.

“All right, baby, Daddy is back,” Ryan said, taking his daughter and making funny faces at her, making it all look so effortless.

“You got this whole dad thing down pat. I gotta admit, I’m impressed.”

Ryan shot him a look, and for a second he thought his friend was going to make a cocky remark, but instead he looked at him seriously. “I learned the hard way, man. I lost everything until I realized what was important. I was going to lose everything again until Ivy saved my sorry self. I thought I couldn’t do this. I thought I didn’t deserve fatherhood or Ivy.”

Richard hung on to his words, onto the rare glimpse of this other side of the confident doctor he’d worked alongside for almost a year. “So what happened?”

“I figured out I couldn’t live without Ivy. Even if I didn’t think I deserved her, I knew I couldn’t live without her. I could spend the rest of my life regretting things I’d done in my past or I could spend the rest of my life loving a woman that was too good for me but loved me anyway. Ivy was the road to redemption for me,” Ryan said, his voice hoarse.

They both looked away from each other because it was too revealing, too uncomfortable. “Well, I’m happy for you,” he said awkwardly, staring straight ahead, waiting for a glimpse of two ladies that he knew were too good for him but loved him anyway.

“I’m so glad it hasn’t started yet,” Celeste said, coming to sit beside him.

Ivy handed out hot chocolates to all of them, and he managed to say thank you even though he knew he was too riled up to drink anything.

“She’ll be okay, Richard,” Celeste whispered.

“I want to find him and hurt him, Cel,” he said.

“Hurt who?” Ryan said, looking very interested in the prospect of a fight.

“He’s here. His kid is in the show,” Celeste whispered. “I saw James standing near the kids’ bench, talking to Maya.”

He stood up abruptly, people admonishing him for blocking their view as the show started. “I’ve got to go,” he said, shoving his way through the bleachers.

As he approached, he heard the announcer say Maya and Abby’s names, and he stopped.

Pringles would have to wait. He pulled out his phone, making sure he had a great angle, and proceeded to record the skating event. He wasn’t going to dwell on the fact that this was the first event of his daughter’s that he’d recorded. He wasn’t going to dwell on the guilt that came with that, because the pride and love he felt for Abby washed it all away…and the love he felt for the woman who was flawlessly skating beside his daughter, holding her hand, despite her own wounds, was more powerful than he could have ever expected.

Abby could barely skate, and the few times she looked like she was going to flip out, Maya’s arms were there, making sure she stayed upright. He zoomed in, and the smile and admiration shining from Abby’s eyes for Maya when she caught her made him realize what his daughter already knew—Maya was part of their family; she had captured their hearts with her love.

He clapped and whistled when their number was done and ran over to meet them. Abby jumped into his arms, and Maya was smiling like someone who’d just achieved victory.

“You girls were amazing,” he said as Abby broke free from his arms to hug Maya.

“Maya, this was the best day of my life,” she said, knocking Maya to the ground.

He wasn’t surprised anymore that Abby said it was the best day of her life. Since coming back to Shadow Creek, since spending time together, since knowing Maya, his daughter had declared dozens of best days of her life. Maybe that was the way it should be when you were eight.

Maya stood, holding Abby’s hand. “I’m going to run to my shop now, because I bet it’s packed in there. I’m sure I’ll see you two later tonight,” she said, smiling at Abby, avoiding his stare.

“Maya, come with us! There’s wagon rides and hot chocolate,” Abby said, tugging on her hand.

“Well, we can go visit Maya at her store tonight, okay?”

“No, I want Maya to stay with us. Maya, please, don’t go to work. Come on the wagon ride.” Richard frowned at his daughter, not used to her causing a scene. Her voice was raised, and she was bordering on having some kind of tantrum.

He crouched down and tried to reason with her. “Maya has work, just like all grownups. She has to go. We can see her later, ok?”

She snatched her hand from his and turned to Maya. “Please, Maya. Please.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Abby, you’re not being fair.”

“No, you’re not being fair! Mom was supposed to come here, and she didn’t. I thought Maya was going to spend the whole night with us, and she’s not, either. I’m mad at you, and I want you to leave me alone!” She ran away from him and into the women’s washroom.

“Hell, I’m sorry,” he said to Maya.

Maya didn’t miss a beat, and they were already walking in the direction of the washroom. “Richard, can I go speak to her? Would you mind?”

He shook his head. “Of course not.”

She gave him a nod and walked into the washroom, and he realized she’d just saved him from having to enter a ladies’ washroom. He knew it had been good to be true, Abby forgiving him for everything. But he had no idea how she’d gotten it into her head that her mother would be coming tonight. It had been wishful thinking that she’d be fine with her mother neglecting her even more than usual, especially at the holidays.

“Hey, man,” a voice said.

Richard looked away from the washroom doors into the direction of the voice. Pringles. Richard stood straighter, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah?”

“I just wanted to know if you were with Maya. Because if not, I want to ask her out.”

Richard balled his hands into fists and tried to remain rational. “You’re the guy from high school? The one who humiliated her in front of the whole school?”

He shrugged. “If I’d known she’d turn out to be this hot, I never would have.”

Richard couldn’t stop his fist from making solid contact with Pringles’ face.

“What the hell?” he said, looking up at him from the ground.

“Stay the hell away from Maya,” he said as Pringles stood up, rubbing his jaw and lip. Richard frowned as he spotted blood.

“If the bleeding doesn’t stop after an hour, you should go to the ER for stitches. Ask for Dr. Ryan Molina.”

Pringles gave him a look like he was insane before walking away. Richard shook his fist and flexed his hand. It had been a long time since he’d had to fight anyone. He took a deep breath as Maya and Abby walked out a few minutes later. It looked as though they’d both been crying.

“Everything okay?” Richard asked, forcing a smile.

Abby nodded, smiling up at him. “Yes, Dad. Maya’s going to work now, and we can go see her after.”

He had no idea what had just happened. That was exactly what he’d suggested fifteen minutes ago, and it was met with a tantrum. He looked over at Maya, wanting to be alone with her but knowing there was no way he’d be able to leave Abby tonight. “Maya, thank you.”

She smiled politely. “I’ll see you both later tonight. Have fun, Abby!”

She waved, and he stood there with Abby’s hand in his, watching her walk away.

A New Beginning 11

Maya downed her glass of champagne and smiled at Katryn O’Leary. It was approaching hour three of the Christmas party from hell, and she was planning on leaving as soon as she spoke with Katryn. She needed to check in on Abby’s situation at school. She knew full well that she wasn’t Abby’s mom…she wasn’t even Abby’s nanny, and she certainly wasn’t Richard’s girlfriend, but she needed to speak with her. “Your mother’s house is beautiful,” Katryn said politely.

“Thank you. She loves Christmas,” she said, trying to be diplomatic. “Katryn, I know you’re not really allowed to discuss things at school because of privacy, but I’ve come to know Abigail Lim really well, and I’m just wondering about her situation.”

Katryn tilted her head to the side and gave her a sympathetic smile. “She is such a great little girl. I know you’re looking after her every day, and I can say we really have the situation under control.”

Maya looked down, wanting to believe her but remembering all the adults who’d failed her, who hadn’t understood the impact cruel kids could have. “I know sometimes as a teacher it’s hard to really see what’s going on in the classroom, and you don’t have the time to watch the subtle things that happen.”

Katryn shook her head. “We really do have it under control. The principal at the school is wonderful. She’s not afraid to stand up to bullying; she doesn’t care about board protocol. She takes a really tough stance on this. That’s one of the reasons I was able to stop this right away. Honestly, though, Abigail shut those boys down pretty quickly.”

Maya smiled softly. “I’m glad you have her back. Just be watchful, okay? I…know sometimes this kind of stuff doesn’t go away forever and can resurface.”

“You have my word. I’ll keep watching. You keep the dialogue open too, okay? You’re the one she sees right after school, so keep an eye on her moods. But I really think it’s going to be fine, Maya.”

Maya nodded and reached out and touched her arm, feeling better. “Thanks, Katryn. I really appreciate it.”

“Hey, no problem. I’m here anytime. Tell Richard he can always reach out.”

Maya smiled and walked toward the liquor bar. Tell Richard. Of course, because Richard was her father. Maya was nothing. Maya made a beeline for the champagne. She’d never realized how much she liked champagne, and it seemed to get so much better with each glass ingested. The cranberries helped as well.

Maya glanced over in the direction she knew Richard was in, and her heart sank as he was still deep in conversation with her sister and Ryan Molina. When she saw her mother approaching, she decided to fill up two glasses, just in case she finished her one glass and her mother kept talking. She wasn’t sure what was worse—looking at her mother’s gloating expression or looking at how great Cel and Richard looked together. Even though her sister was tall and wearing heels, Richard was still a few inches taller. They were the perfect match, really. Her sister said something, and he leaned forward to listen attentively.

She tore her gaze from them to pay attention to her mother, because all the champagne she’d had was making it difficult for her to focus. She couldn’t let her guard down when it came time to speaking with her mother.

“Well, I would say this is another successful party. It’s a shame Rafi refused to show up. I would have thought Charlie would have convinced her. It’s in his best interest as future Fire Chief to get along with the mayor,” her mother said, pursing her lips and staring down her nose at her.

“Well, I’m pretty sure Rafi and her feelings are more important to him. Besides, they are probably betting on you not winning the election next year.”

Her mother huffed, and one of her overly jeweled hands flew to her chest. “I don’t understand where this animosity comes from, especially during the holiday season. Has the magic of the holidays truly been lost on all my daughters?”

Maya rolled her eyes, three glasses of champagne past caring about making a scene. “I believe the Grinch is part of the season too, Mother. You should examine who you’re aligning yourself with.”

Her mother’s eyes narrowed to a malicious squint. “Never mind me. You’re the one who should be examining your date tonight and the fact that he’s spent the entire evening with your tall, thin, doctor sister instead of you.”

Maya inhaled sharply and held her two glasses of champagne close, because she was so tempted to throw the contents in her mother’s face. She drank them down, because it was either ingest or chuck. “Richard and I are friends.”

“I see the way you look at him, Maya. Stop interpreting what I’m saying as an attack on you. I’m helping you. I don’t want to see you broken-hearted, pining over a man that you can’t have. It’s the way the world is, dear. Sugar coating it with all that feel-good nonsense serves no one. Do you really want a man like that, anyway? I thought I was doing you a favor the night I insisted he be your date, but I am not above admitting I am wrong. When I see him standing next to Celeste, it’s obvious to me that that is a power match. Would you ever feel like his equal, or would you always be wondering if you are enough for him? You know what happens at hospitals…those late nights, pretty doctors and nurses…you should set your sights on people closer to your type. Let Celeste have Richard. Bow out gracefully before it happens anyway, before you fall in love with him and he tosses you to the curb and they get together while you babysit his daughter for them.”

Maya blinked back tears, hating that her mother still had this power over her. How could a mother actually be this cruel? “I never asked for your opinion on anything. I don’t care what you think of me. You should be taking a good long look at yourself. All these people here tonight? They are here either because they were too polite to say no when you accosted them with your invitation or because they want something from you. At least when I throw a party, it’s filled with people I’m actually friends with. Also, it’s a really bad sign when people see you on the sidewalk and go running in the opposite direction. Do yourself a favor and don’t go chasing after them. And another thing…you’re wrong. You’re wrong about me, and you always were. You never took the time to know who I really am, and that says everything about the type of woman you are, not me.”

Maya plunked her empty champagne glasses on the buffet table and stormed out through the house as quickly as the stupid crowd, the dumb toy soldiers, and her stupid heels would allow her. She was taking off these stupid things as soon as possible. She didn’t bother stopping to retrieve her coat from the poor guest her mother had forced to act as coat check tonight. Besides, the champagne running through her body was making her hot enough to not feel the cold. She paused and stared at one of the ghastly toy soldiers flanking the front door, smiled, and tipped it over before whipping the front door open.

She took a deep gulp of cold air and walked down the front steps, faltering when she realized she didn’t know how she was going to get home. Richard had brought her here, and she wasn’t about to go and find him and make a pathetic scene. Maybe she could call Rafi and Charlie and meet them at the corner like a sad, lost child. She just wanted to vanish into the night. She took off her heels because she couldn’t take them anymore and her mother’s driveway and walkway were so clean she wondered if she’d had someone vacuum outside.

She wasn’t going to cry at the state of her life. She was a grown woman. She could call a cab and wait at the curb. She was halfway down the driveway when she heard Richard yell her name. She paused but kept walking. She was angry with him for the way he’d ignored her tonight, and she was angrier that her mother had been right about everything.

“Maya, wait!” he yelled again. She kept walking, but he caught up to her a few seconds later and grabbed her hand.

She took a deep breath and turned to look at him, blinking, hoping that would get rid of the tears. “I’m leaving,” she said, hating that without heels she had to look way up at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly.

“I don’t care,” she whispered, yanking her hand from his. “It’s fine. I get everything, okay? You brought me here because my mother forced you, but we’re both adults. We are free to do whatever we want. If you want to go out with Cel, I give you my blessing. I promise I won’t hold it against either of you. Just don’t ever take me out of obligation and spend the night ignoring me and treating me as this insignificant—”

“Insignificant?” His voice was hoarse, and he closed the remaining space between them, his narrow eyes glittered and filled with something that even in her somewhat inebriated state, she was pretty sure was close to desire. She forgot to breathe when his hands framed her face. “Insignificant? How far from the truth you are. I don’t want Celeste. I want you. I never stopped wanting you. That’s the problem. When I walked into your apartment earlier, I didn’t want to come to a stupid party. I wanted to spend the night with you. I’ve had to keep my hands in my damn pockets all night because I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll touch you and I won’t be able to stop. God, I think about you all the time. I want you all the time.”

He lowered his head, his mouth hovering precariously close to hers, the heat emanating from his body beckoning her. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore, but in my attempt to keep you away, I’ve hurt you, and I’m sorry for that. But I just…I don’t know what I have to offer you anymore. I’m afraid that if I give in to what I want, I’m putting my little girl’s heart on the line if things don’t work out. I can’t have her be heart broken again. But I also can’t seem to stay away from you. I’ve never met someone like you…you make me believe in everything good, you make me believe in things I haven’t thought about since I was a kid, you took my daughter in and made her happy again. God, how could you ever think you were insignificant? You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he whispered, his lips gently grazing hers as he spoke, until he finally captured her lips, her mouth in the ways she’d dreamed about. She kissed him back with everything she felt for him, with her heart, with her hope. His words repeated in her mind, filling her with hope and love for him. Her hands roamed up his hard chest, and he made a sound low in his throat and pulled her into him, backing her up against the parked car behind her. His one hand was tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck, and when his other hand roamed up her body, her knees buckled.

A car horn blared, and they both jumped as the front window of the car they happened to be leaning against powered down. “Omigosh,” Maya whispered, not turning around as Richard held her close and faced the car.

“Hey kids, take it somewhere else,” the gruff voice of an elderly man called out.

Richard cleared his throat, and he nodded. “Yes, sir. Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Melendez,” he said.

He grabbed Maya’s hand, and she stared at him as they jogged down the driveway toward his car. “You know them?”

“I took her appendix out last month.”

…

Richard knew the minute he’d seen Maya leave the house, he couldn’t keep away from her anymore. He hated that he’d hurt her. Even though it had been unintentional, she was too good to be treated like that. And he knew the moment he saw her standing outside, alone, her eyes filled with tears, that he never wanted to make her cry again. Unfortunately, that didn’t leave him with options that were aligned with the promises he’d made for himself.

They were standing in the dark entrance of her apartment, and he wanted nothing more than to continue what they’d started outside, except he knew where it would lead, but he didn’t know that it would end in a place where she wouldn’t end up hurt. He’d rather take cold showers for the rest of his life than hurt Maya.

“Are you coming in?” she asked, taking off her coat and turning on a hallway lamp.

He kept his eyes trained on her face, knowing his self-control was at an all-time low. The only problem with looking into her eyes and her face was that she was heartbreakingly beautiful and her mouth was irresistible, and now that he knew their chemistry was off the charts, he wanted her even more. But she stood in front of him, in that dress that he’d been imagining taking off all night, and he didn’t know how he was going to handle staying here and not touching her. “Maya,” he began, running his hands through his hair roughly.

“Come in and I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself,” she said, turning on another light, and the small room was illuminated. He looked around, taking in the cheerful space. It suited her. One wall had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, each one filled to the brim with well-worn books. There was a Christmas tree in one corner and a chair that matched the sofa on the other end of the room.

“I’m trying to be a good guy and do the right thing,” he said, trying not to look below her chin. He stared at the bookshelf and walked over to it, taking in the titles, then moving on to look at the pictures that lined some of the shelves. He smiled as he spotted Maya and her sisters in most of them. He noticed Maya was holding different plaques or certificates.

“Did you win a lot of awards?” he asked.

She walked over to him and shrugged. “Different literature awards in high school and college. I was also a competitive figure skater. I won a lot of medals for that.”

She said it like it was no big deal. “Your parents must have been proud.”

She shrugged, and he was mad at himself for noticing the cleavage when she made that motion. “My dad was, I think,” she whispered, picking up a picture. It was her, with braces, and she was visibly heavy. She was still pretty, but he was starting to piece together the picture of her childhood with that mother. “I got a full scholarship to college,” she said, pointing to the picture. “My dad was so happy because he said at least it was one college tuition he didn’t have to worry about. They’d started college funds for us when we were babies, so we were all lucky, but we all ended up with scholarships.”

“That’s incredible.”

“They weren’t really big on the value of English Lit, but that’s okay. My brain wasn’t wired for science,” she said, putting the picture back down.

“Doesn’t mean it’s any less impressive. What’s this?” he asked, picking up a picture from the top shelf. It looked more recent, and it looked as though it was in a library.

“Oh, I won the Librarian of the Year award for my children’s programming,” she said with a smile.

“I can see that. You’re great with kids,” he said, falling in love with all these sides of Maya. Every time he went to pick Abby up, kids lingered in her store and seemed to never want to leave her side. Abby talked about her night and day. He thought about her night and day. How was he going to walk out of here tonight?

She shrugged. “I like them. I like their honesty, and I like being able to open them up to the world of books. They are a great outlet during rough times.”

He stared into her expressive doe eyes, seeing a world of hurt in them. “They got you through some rough years?”

She broke eye contact with him. “Stupid, teenage stuff. Nothing significant now that I’m twenty-six.”

Hell, she was younger than he thought. “Twenty-six is actually quite young, especially considering everything you’ve accomplished,” he said.

“My sisters and I were pushed to skip grades, so I finished school quite young. I’m an old soul,” she said with a laugh. “I think we should have a drink because this is starting to sound really boring and depressing.”

“Not at all. Hearing about your life isn’t boring, Maya.”

“Okay, well, what else do you want to know?”

“Who was the guy at Target and the coffee shop?”

Her eyes clouded over. “An ass from high school.”

He frowned. “Wasn’t he trying to pick you up?”

“Because he was too stupid to remember who I was.”

He let out a choked laughter. “Who were you?”

“I was the girl he bullied all through high school. I was known as Fatty Maya, and the night of the ChristmasFest in my senior year, he humiliated me in front of the entire town,” she said, grabbing a bottle of wine off the counter and pouring two glasses.

“What did he do?” he asked, masking the anger he felt as he heard the stupid nickname, knowing, understanding the damage that could do to an adolescent. A tenderness he didn’t know he had came over him as he read the hurt and vulnerability across her beautiful face.

She squeezed her eyes shut. “It shouldn’t matter, Richard. I’m a grown woman. It was a long time ago. People that mean nothing to me now. It’s pretty silly, and I don’t really want to talk about it.”

He leaned against the counter. “If it meant nothing, you wouldn’t have problems talking about it. Look, you don’t have to tell me, but don’t think I’m going to stand here judging you. I let you into my life, and you’ve seen firsthand the mess I created. When I turned forty, I was still trying to figure out how to be the person I wanted to be. Nothing you can tell me will change what I already know about you.”

She stared at him, her eyes shining with vulnerability, and for a second he thought she wasn’t going to open up, but she looked away and started talking. “I hated high school. I didn’t fit in right from day one. I already had low self-esteem because I was compared, and found horribly lacking, to my sisters. I went into high school already knowing everything wrong with me. But year after year, day after day, I’d go to school and they’d call me names, they’d kick my chair from underneath me, they’d tape stuff to my locker, they’d laugh at me when I’d walk down the hall. I had no friends. Rafi and Cel were older than me, and when Cel graduated, I was entirely alone.”

He gripped the counter tightly and tried not to look angry, even though he wished he’d known this about Pringles earlier. He would have never let him go near Maya. He cleared his throat and pushed aside his fantasies of hurting Pringles. “What about your parents?”

She took a gulp of wine. “My mother minimized it and said if it really bothered me I should lose weight and try and look more like my sisters. I tried that for a while. I didn’t eat anything but vegetables for a few weeks, and I’d managed to lose almost twenty pounds, but it wasn’t good enough because I was still getting made fun of. Then I tried dyeing my hair to be more like my sisters, but I fried my hair so badly I had to get it cut short. My mother didn’t let me live that one down. So I just resorted to eating junk food in private in my room and reading books and wishing for the day I could be away from everyone who made me hate myself. I stopped skating because I became too self-conscious about the outfits. I ended up gaining even more weight.”

He wanted to hurt people. Lots of people. He thought of her reaction to Abby and the situation at school and understood why she’d been so concerned. She’d been so worried about Abby, and it made his heart swell because she had been coming at it from a place of experience and compassion. “Maya, I’m sorry.”

“Wait. You need to hear the grand finale,” she said, sliding his glass of wine over to him. He couldn’t even pick it up and drink, he was so tense.

“James was the most popular guy in school, and if I’m being completely honest, I had a crush on him. I guess I wasn’t good at hiding it. A couple weeks before ChristmasFest, he and his girlfriend staged some public breakup. Then he asked me to the dance and the skating show; he said he’d had a crush on me for years. He wanted to be my partner. We went to the rink every day for the two weeks leading up to that night. He was nice. He practiced with me…”

He ducked his head, clenching his hands into fists at the pain in her voice. “Of course I believed him. He was a tortured hero, like in my books. He needed to be redeemed. He needed a woman to fix him. I was going to be that girl.”

“Maya…”

She held up her index finger and took a long gulp of wine before speaking again. “I picked the prettiest, sparkly skirt, and Celeste did my hair and makeup, and I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world that my years of being an outcast were over. I went onto the ice that night with so much confidence. Looking back, I should have known…his girlfriend and all of his friends were sitting right in the front row…the lights came on, and he had this weird look on his face. When we went to do the first lift, which we’d rehearsed and done a thousand times to perfection because I was a figure skater and he was a hockey player, he pretended to struggle because of my weight and dropped me. All his friends laughed, and he skated away, and they threw eggs on the ice. I couldn’t move, because he’d hurt me when he threw me. The lights turned off, and Cel was there helping me get off the ice.”

He was going to find Pringles and cut him open with a dull scalpel.

She had gone through all of that, and she was willing to get on the ice with his daughter, to put Abby’s needs above her own. He ran his hands through his hair as he remembered what Celeste had said tonight. He looked at Maya and knew he was in love with her. This woman, this gorgeous, smart, caring woman, had put his daughter’s needs above her own, when her own mother wouldn’t.

They had entered her world, and she’d greeted them with a smile so filled with joy that both he and Abby forgot how to be sad. She’d brought out everything good in them, and she’d guided him, without knowing, toward the life he truly wanted. She was fifteen years younger than him, but she’d figured out what was really important in life. He stood there, his eyes locked with hers, searching for the right words, but came up short. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that they were all idiots. He wanted to make promises he had no right making, but he wanted her more than anything.

“You look stressed,” she said, the beginnings of a smile at the corners of her lush mouth.

“Are you kidding me?” he said, slowly taking a step closer to her, despite his promises to himself. The need to hold her was slowly winning out, slowly eroding his wall of resolution.

“Maybe,” he said, his gaze going from her eyes to her lips.

“Because you don’t want to be here?”

“Because I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he said.

“Take advantage of me?” she said. She then proceeded to laugh and clutch his arm as she did so.

“Is that funny?” he asked, amused and horrified all at the same time. He took her hand off his arm and held it, slowly rubbing his thumb on the palm of her hand.

She nodded, smiling. He could see her pulse racing at the base of her throat. “I haven’t heard that expression in a long time. I know you have a lot of things to sort out…emotionally.”

“I’m not emotional,” he said, lifting his arm and placing his hand at the nape of her neck. She let out an audible sigh. “I just don’t want to hurt you, Maya. I can’t make promises, and I can’t make Abby feel like she’s not my first priority again. I’ve been a crappy father, and I have a long way to go to being the kind of father she can be proud of one day.”

Her eyes were filled with tears, and he thought she was going to step away from him, but she closed the gap between them and looked up at him in a way that made him feel like she saw the person he wanted to be, she saw, and she believed. “I think you’ve gone a long way in restoring her faith in you, and I think you’ve got a daddy’s girl in the making with Abby. But I’m not going to stand in the way of your relationship with your daughter. Abby is your number one priority, as she should be. Maybe that’s one of the things I lo—like about you so much, that you didn’t take the easy way out and continue with status quo; you faced your mistakes, and you started over. We all make mistakes, but we don’t all admit them, and we certainly don’t all change from them. Richard, you are one of the good guys, even if you don’t know it yet.”

He stood there, not having the words to answer her yet. He’d always had words; he’d always had confidence. He’d known he was smart. He’d never failed at anything until it came to his marriage and his little girl. He’d given awful news to patients, to families, to spouses. He’d faced impossible surgeries, gruesome emergencies, and he’d always known what to do. He’d never hesitated in any area of his life. But right now, with the most beautiful woman he’d ever known, he was speechless; he was motionless and without direction. “I’m not sure how you have that kind of confidence in me, Maya.”

“I’ve seen what’s out there. I’ve been hurt by people. I know who the good people are, even when they can’t see it in themselves,” she whispered, her voice so raw and sweet he knew he couldn’t stand here and not kiss her one more time. He bent his head, and she met him halfway, her arms sliding up his chest. What began as sweet quickly changed into something he’d never felt before. He wanted Maya on every level.

He traced the curves of her body with his hands, and she guided him to the sofa in her apartment. He unzipped her dress in the dark before following her down onto the sofa. Her hands pushed at his jacket, and she helped him shove it off his shoulders before he ripped his tie off his neck, and her hands went to the buttons on his shirt. Finally, when most of the clothing was removed, he gave her the attention he was dying to give her, his mouth back on hers, his hands exploring the woman in his dreams.

“Maya, I’ve never…I’ve never wanted someone more than you,” he said, his mouth kissing the smooth skin beneath her ear.

“Really?” she whispered, holding him to her. “Me too. But I should probably tell you that due to the fact that, um, I had issues in the past and extenuating circumstances…”

He paused, his fingers on the clasp of her bra, his head trying to tell him she was sounding odd. He looked up at her, trying to focus on what she was saying and not how incredible she looked and felt under him. “What is it?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound harsh.

“So, this would technically be…you would technically be the first person I’ve done this with.”

Sometimes, surgery didn’t go right. Sometimes, he’d be staring at an artery that ruptured when it shouldn’t. He always knew what to do. He never needed time to process. He always acted. Until now. He blinked, staring at her, hearing her words but not really wanting to believe them.

She poked his shoulder. “Stop staring at me like that. I didn’t say I wanted to stop. I was just warning you so you could adjust your expectations.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, surprised tears didn’t come as he pried himself off her warm, soft body and sat on the opposite end of the couch. He leaned forward and braced his arms on his legs, a thousand thoughts pummeling through his mind. When he realized several minutes must have passed and that she must be waiting for some kind of reply and that she was probably feeling vulnerable and embarrassed and he was acting like an ass, he turned to look at her.

Maya was glaring at him. Then she tossed a pillow at him. “Way to make a girl feel comfortable.”

He hung his head. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s it?” she asked, standing up and reaching for the dress to cover up her body. He squeezed his eyes shut again and searched for the words that she needed.

“I wasn’t expecting that,” he said, knowing that wasn’t enough.

“So what? I was telling you as a courtesy statement. Like when you’re at a restaurant and before you order they tell you of a menu item that’s missing. They don’t expect you to leave the damn restaurant,” she said, marching across the room.

He stood, running a hand through his hair as she marched behind the small kitchen and disappeared from where he stood. “Maya, why haven’t you slept with anyone before?”

She came back to face him, now wearing the dress, and he could see the tears glistening in her eyes, and he hated himself. “Because.”

He walked forward, his hands in his pockets. “Because why?”

She tilted her chin as he stood in front of her. “Because I wanted him…it to be special.”

“You wanted a guy who would be around forever, and that’s what you deserve.”

Her chin wobbled. “And you’re not him,” she said, her voice cracking.

He closed the gap between them, holding her against him, feeling her tears on his bare skin. “I’m sorry. I want to be him. More than anything, I want to be that guy, and I want to make you all the promises you deserve. But I just can’t at this point in m life, not when I’m still trying to find myself and make myself whole again. When everything fell apart in my life, I promised myself and I promised Abby that I wouldn’t let her get hurt again, that I would make her my number one priority. All I have to offer is my…friendship.” Said no sane man, ever. He reminded himself he wasn’t just a guy anymore; he was a father.

Maya nodded and then stepped back, wiping tears from her eyes. “I always admired that about you. You don’t see the man you are. You see the mistakes you’ve made. But I see the guy, Richard. I see the father that you are.”

“I need to see him, too. You get to a point in life when you figure out what’s really important. The shit people waste their lives worrying about doesn’t matter in the end. The obsession with money, with beauty, with sex, it means nothing because none of it can really guarantee happiness. Life can be pretty damn cruel without inventing our own drama. I don’t want that in my life. I wasted too many years chasing what I thought was important. I chased status because we never had that growing up. I chased wealth because my parents were always short on cash, because my dad never had the money to treat my mother to expensive gifts or jewelry. But here I am having just figured out that none of that mattered to them. They loved each other, and it was more than enough.”

She smiled at him, a smile way too beautiful, way too mature for her years. “If you were anyone else, I think I’d jump you.”

He laughed but grew serious quickly as sadness gripped him. “I don’t want to think about you jumping anyone else. If I had met you…if I had met you years ago…”

“You would have been creepy because I might just be a teenager.”

He frowned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

She raised her wine glass but not before he saw her smile. “It’s all right. I won’t hold it against you.”

“Maya, I don’t know what the hell we’re going to do here. I can’t just walk out on you.”

She shrugged. “But I would never want to hurt Abby, so that’s fine. We will be friends. I’ll go on with my life…and find someone else,” she said, taking a long drink of wine.

“This sucks,” he said, running his hands through his hair.

“Yeah,” she whispered. He looked up sharply when he heard the catch in her voice. He couldn’t make her cry. He couldn’t be one of those people.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nodded, the lump in his throat increasing when her eyes glistened with tears.

“If Alexandra walked back into your lives tomorrow, saying she wanted another chance at being your wife, at being a mother, what would you do?”

His mouth dropped open, and he was ready to declare he’d have nothing to do with her. But as he was thinking it, the reality of his situation, that it wasn’t as simple as that hit him. He had Abby to consider. If her mother came back into her life, it would make her happy. “Maya…”

She smiled sadly and shook her head. “Say no more.”

He frowned.

“Don’t worry about it. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. There’s no point anyway. We are nothing except friends.”

Shit. That wasn’t it at all. If Alexandra came back into his life, he’d want nothing to do with her romantically. He would never get back together with her. That ship had sailed. He’d just try and find a way to make things easier on Abby. So where the hell did that leave him and Maya? He couldn’t walk out of here and pretend he wasn’t in love with her…but he couldn’t start a relationship now when he’s still on the mend.

He didn’t want her with anyone but him. “So, this is it.”

She nodded, leaning against the counter. “Yup. This is it.”

“We are friends.”

“Yup. Friends,” she said, her gaze flickering over his body. Hell. “You should go get your shirt on or something,” she said, shielding her eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that or talk like that,” he said.

“Then you have to stop letting your eyes wander.”

He squeezed them shut and nodded. “You’re right.” Who was he kidding anyway?

“Also, I want you to know that if Alexandra comes back, I won’t hold it against you for trying to rebuild your family,” she whispered.

“Maya,” he groaned. He stopped himself from correcting her because maybe it was for the best. Maybe it would make things easier if she thought there was a possibility of Abby getting her family back.

“Just so we’re clear on something, Richard?”

“Yes?”

“I’m still in Abby’s life, right? Like, this thing between us has nothing to do with her? I still want to pick her up from school. I still want to do the skating program with her.”

That was why he was in love with her. He stared at her and knew that ending this with Maya was going to be painful, because she was who he should have married. She was the mother that Abby deserved. She cared more about his daughter than her feelings. He cleared his throat. “I would like that. I appreciate that. She loves you.”

She nodded, turning. “Me too,” she whispered

A New Beginning 10

She could have shopped for her dress right in town. There were actually a few cute shops that carried formal wear, but that would involve hearing an analysis of how things looked, what would look great on her, and who was her date. Her sisters would have insisted on coming with her, and if she didn’t invite them, they would have been hurt. She also wouldn’t have been able to get a good deal like shopping online allowed.

She gingerly pulled out the three different dresses she’d ordered and had left sitting in the box all week. She should have tried them on sooner, like, not the night of the party. Maybe it was a remnant of her past, always trying on clothes that never seemed to fit right, suddenly not feeling good enough when standing in front of the mirror. Richard was a man she never would have thought would have been interested in her, but he’d made it very clear he was very interested.

She pulled out the first dress—this was her safety choice. Black, just below the knee, three-quarter sleeves, with a modest square neckline. Dress number two was slightly riskier; it was black again, because that was always her go-to choice when she was feeling insecure, but this one had a lower V neckline and then came in at the waist with an adorable A-line skirt. The third choice was something she never thought she’d ever wear, but bold and maybe tipsy Maya who had just finished her second glass of wine had one-clicked it. It was a deep red, figure-hugging lace dress that would be sure to grab attention, which was something she avoided at all costs. She sighed and looked in the mirror, pleased that her beachy waves had turned out perfectly and her makeup looked sophisticated but not overdone. Now it was just the dress.

She jumped at the loud knocking on her apartment door. She inhaled sharply and pulled her robe closed as she raced to the door. Richard wouldn’t be an hour early, would he? She looked through the peephole and opened the door.

Celeste was standing there, looking stunning in a red, floor-length gown that skimmed her slim body beautifully. “Move aside, dear sister. I’m about to make sure you don’t put on some mousy dress and try to disappear into the corner at Mom’s.”

Maya groaned as Celeste barreled through her apartment, her heels clacking against the floor, and walked straight into her bedroom. She followed her, feeling dread and hope at the same time. Cel was pretty much tell-it-like-it-is, but with a heart of gold to soften the blow of whatever truth she was going to tell. She stood in the doorway as Cel picked up each dress. She held up the safe choice and made a face. “Seriously? You own like five of these types of dresses. They are great for funerals, job interviews, and brunch with Mom. Other than that, you need to retire them from your wardrobe.”

Maya rolled her eyes but secretly agreed with that assessment. “Next?”

She held up the A-line black dress and narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. “Acceptable, but only if you’re not wearing a sports bar with it trying to hide your assets. This dress needs some cleavage.”

Maya shook her head, wondering now what made her click on this dress. “I have a cute black sports bra.”

“I can see I arrived just in time. What’s this…” She dropped the other dress for the red one and held it up triumphantly, as though she’d been the one who bought it. “This! You are wearing this.”

“No,” Maya said, jutting out her chin. Just seeing Cel holding it made her realize it wasn’t for her. She was not going to wear a red dress when Cel looked so regal wearing a red dress. “I’ll wear the other one. That was purchased after drinking too much wine, and I regret it. I’m not wearing it. I won’t feel comfortable.”

“You’re not eighty. You’re going on a date with a hot doctor that everyone at that hospital wants. Comfort is not the name of the game. In fact, the more uncomfortable you are, the better you’ll look.”

Maya laughed nervously.

Celeste was straight-faced. “Consider me your fairy godmother. Go try both these dresses on, and I’ll tell it like it is. But put on a damn bra with underwire and some sexy shoes.”

Maya rolled her eyes and snatched up the dresses, her only push-up bra, and strappy black patent heels, and made her way to the washroom. “Are you seriously leaving the room to change?” Celeste called out as she left.

“You’re too intense!” Maya yelled out. The truth was that she didn’t feel comfortable in front of Celeste, and it brought up too many bad memories of growing up. Her sisters had always defended her and had never made fun of her or made her feel uncomfortable. But there were dozens upon dozens of times their mother would poke her head in their room while they were changing and point out all of Maya’s inadequacies. She dressed quickly, pushing those memories out of her head. She wasn’t that girl anymore. She didn’t look in the mirror until she slipped on the shoes and then took a deep breath and looked at herself in the red dress.

“Do not take off any of those dresses before I see you in them. I repeat…”

“I heard you,” she snapped, irritated because that’s exactly what she’d intended on doing. There was no way she was wearing this dress to the party. It was too…loud, too eye-catching.

“I know you, Maya. I’m coming in.”

Maya rolled her eyes as Celeste opened the door. She tried not to look vulnerable as her sister’s jaw dropped. “You have got to wear that. You have to.”

“I’m not. Leave, I’m trying on the next one.”

“Stop being a baby. You are going out with Richard.”

She threw her hands up in the air. “So what? I’m not going to change who I am. Richard and I are friends. I’m helping him out with his daughter. He doesn’t want marriage again, or a relationship even. So I might as well be comfortable in my own skin than try and be something I’m not. I will never look like his ex-wife. I will never be that girl, so I’m not going to make a fool of myself trying.”

Cel crossed her arms. “You don’t have to look like his ex. Look at you. I’m not telling you to be something you’re not or that you have to dress a certain way to attract a guy, but on the flip side, you shouldn’t keep hiding. Maybe you want to wear that dress but you’re just too shy and insecure. Be bold, Maya.”

“Easy for you to say,” she said, glaring at Celeste. She shouldn’t have to spell this out for her. She was closer to her in age than Raffi, and she knew how she was tormented in high school, and she knew about the most humiliating day of her life; she also knew about their mother’s constant criticism.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come on. You will never get what it’s like to be me. You know how my high school life was like. You know what it was like at home.”

“That was a long time ago. You have to move on. You’re an adult now, and you’re hiding from life.”

“Don’t you think I know that? I have moved on. In my day-to-day life, I’m fine. Certain…situations make all those old issues come out, and I can’t help it. Never mind. It’s my problem, not yours.”

Celeste winced, and Maya turned away from the sympathy in her eyes. “I’m sorry. I just…I want the best for you, Maya, and it makes me sad to think you still have issues.”  She approached Maya and turned her towards the full-length mirror.  As she stood beside her, she said, “Look at you, I wish you saw what the rest of the world sees when they look at you. You are a beautiful woman on the inside and out. But your Fatty Maya nightmares seemed to have robbed you of self-confidence and good eyesight when it came to you.”

But Maya just wouldn’t hear her and took off her shoes. “I love you, Cel, but I can’t wear this. It’s stupid, and I feel like an idiot for even talking about it. It’s this inferiority complex I have when I think of Richard’s ex. Oh, and then I ran into James from high school, and I found myself back in high school again. I mean, it’s been what, nine years since I’ve seen any of those jerks, but it brought me right back,” she said, her voice cracking.

Celeste walked forward and hugged her. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I don’t know what it’s like to be bullied for four years. I just want the best for you, and I think Richard is a great guy, like the best I’ve met in a long time other than Charlie.”

Maya sniffled and pulled back, eyeing her sister when she heard something in her voice as she mentioned Richard again. “Hey, you don’t…have feelings for him, do you?”

Something flashed across Celeste’s eyes. “What? Of course, not. We see each other a lot, and guys like him are hard to find. He’s one of the good ones. Don’t blow it because some losers in high school and Mom made you feel like you’re not good enough. You’re the best, Maya.”

Maya fanned her fingers in front of her eyes when Celeste’s filled with tears, too. “Stop it. I actually bought new makeup for this. I can’t ruin it before I even go out tonight.”

“Okay, try the other dress and then let me see,” Celeste said, leaving the room. Maya thought about what Celeste said about Richard as she got dressed, wondering, hoping, her sister was telling the truth about not having feelings toward Richard. But she knew her sister had no problems going after what she wanted, and she’d hope that she was being truthful.

She stepped into the black A-line dress and zipped it up, the fabric smooth and fitting snugly against her body. She turned to look at herself in the mirror after putting her shoes on and fought the urge to cover up and just run for the safe dress. While this wasn’t like the look-at-me red dress, it was more…skin than she was used to, and she was used to material that flowed rather than clung.

“Are you finished? I don’t want to be here when Richard shows up. It’ll seem too high school.”

True. She whipped open the door, and Cel gasped. “That’s gorgeous. I know I said the red dress was the winner, but you looked like you were going to die in it. This seems more…you. Elegant and beautiful.”

She knew Celeste was trying to be nice and conciliatory. “You think I’m a wimp for not wearing the red.”

Celeste shrugged but smiled. “You look amazing in both. But you have to feel amazing. You have to feel comfortable. This dress is gorgeous. I know it’s hard for you to take compliments, and I know you…still doubt things, but you were always gorgeous, Maya. Always. It didn’t matter that you were heavier back then. But you’re a knockout now. Just look at yourself. You’ll see what Richard sees, what the rest of us see. And you know me, I say things as I see them.”

Cel blew her a kiss and left. Maya stood looking at her reflection, hearing the door shut a minute later. She took a deep breath and walked out of the washroom and screamed as she bumped into something—someone solid. Strong hands reached out to grasp her bare arms. “Sorry, Maya. Celeste said to walk in.”

She took a step back to look up into Richard’s handsome face. She swallowed hard because the man looked as though he graced the cover of any men’s magazines. He was…devastatingly gorgeous in his black suit and crisp white shirt with dark red tie. He was clean-shaven, and he smelled so good she fought the urge to lean in closer and bury her face in the crook of his neck. Except when she made eye contact with him again, he wasn’t looking all that…happy. He was barely even looking at her. Certainly not looking like a man who was even remotely interested in her, who had said she was sweet and sexy.

“Everything okay?” she asked, hoping that maybe he’d say sorry, that he was preoccupied with work. But he said nothing of the sort.

He cleared his throat. “Of course. Are you ready to go?”

“Um, yes. My coat is at the door.” She was not going to be hurt that he hadn’t even mentioned a cursory “you look good” or something like that.

He helped her into her coat and held open the door for her. They walked out in silence to where his car was parked, and she sank into the passenger seat, trying to fight tears. She would not let her mind go to the fact that he’d seen and spoken with Celeste, who’d looked stunning in her red dress. Nope, not going there.

…

Richard had never felt more like an ass than he did tonight. The moment Maya had walked into him at her apartment was the moment he knew he was doomed. She looked stunning. Beyond stunning. She looked like the Maya he was used to seeing, but tonight she was wearing a dress that brought to life everything that occupied his imagination which his hands were now itching to go over.  So he kept his hands in his pockets at this stupid party because he was afraid that if he made contact with her, there would be no going back. What did that say about him? He could keep promises. He was a man of his word. But it’s getting difficult and now he wanted to break the promise he’d made even to himself.

He stood there, listening to Ryan and Celeste drone on about some problem with the administration at the hospital, but his gaze was on Maya across the room. It was hard to keep track of her because her mother’s house was sprawling and filled with people and an obscene amount of Christmas trees and over-the-top, creepy, life-sized toy soldiers. He wanted to leave. With Maya.

“Are you okay?” Celeste asked.

He looked over at her and forced a more jovial type of expression on his face. Judging by Ryan’s choked laughter, he wasn’t doing a great job. “Uh, yeah. Fine. Just tired.”

“Doesn’t Maya look gorgeous tonight?” Celeste said.

Oh, crap. He was being such an ass even Maya’s sister was noticing his behavior wasn’t appropriate. Maya was his date, and he was hanging out at the opposite end of the room. It was like junior high. He cleared his throat. “She does.”

Celeste’s eyes narrowed. “Oh no, she’s talking to our mother.”

“Is that bad?” Ryan asked.

“Always bad,” she whispered before downing the rest of her champagne.

He looked over at Ryan, who was scrolling through pictures on his phone and smiling. Right. The baby. He should ask him about his kid. That would at least keep him talking for a while, and he could just smile and pretend to listen. “How’s the baby?”

Just as he thought. Ryan looked up from his phone and lit up like one of the Christmas trees in the room. Except he didn’t just talk—he stood beside him and scrolled through pictures on his phone, with a description for each picture. As he was doing this, his irritation gave way to guilt and self-loathing because he’d never done that with Abby. He had never been that irritatingly happy, doting father. Ryan was maybe on picture number one hundred, while he didn’t even know how many pictures he had of his little girl. He wanted to take out his phone and show him that his little girl was the best, too. She had a smile that was so contagious, even the most hardened soul would fall in love with her. She had a heart that was so generous that she made him want to be a better father. She was so smart that she could read from books that were far more advanced than her grade level. She was so brave…that she’d stolen his Rx pad and prescribed fart remedies to bullies…because she wasn’t confident enough in his abilities as a father and protector to come to him.

He downed the rest of his wine. Well, hadn’t this turned out to be one of the worst nights of his life? He looked up from Ryan’s phone to Maya, who was still across the room, though she was now drinking from two glasses of champagne. God, what an idiot he was.

“Is Abigail excited about ChristmasFest?” Celeste asked.

He nodded, forcing himself to engage in even more small talk. “She is. Well, it’s thanks to Maya. She really saved the day. Apparently, they do some mother-daughter skate, and Abby was heartbroken because her mother can’t be here…” His voice trailed off, and he frowned when he saw Celeste’s face go white and her mouth drop open.

“Maya’s going to skate with her?” she whispered.

“Yeah, why? Doesn’t she skate?” That would so be like Maya. So generous she was even willing to humiliate herself in order to keep Abby from feeling left out. Even Abby’s own mother wouldn’t fly out to be at the event, but Maya, whom she’d known for a few months, was willing to sacrifice herself.

Celeste was shaking her head, staring into her empty glass. “It’s so much worse than that, Richard,” she whispered.

“What are you talking about?”

When she looked up at him, her eyes were filled with tears. Celeste wasn’t the crying type. She was always tough as nails at the hospital, always professional. “It’s just…” She shook her head and blinked a few times. “Maya is the best. That’s all. She’s the best, and I hope you know how lucky you are to have her in your life.”

A New Beginning 9

“Hi, thanks for coming to meet me, Dr. Lim,” Katryn O’Leary said.

Richard shook Abby’s teacher’s hand and followed her into the second-grade classroom. “You can call me Richard,” he said.

She sat behind the teacher’s desk and smiled at him. “Thanks. I know my brother, Ryan, speaks very highly of you.”

He smiled. “We’ve become good friends,” he said.

“I know you must be wondering why I called you in. I’m filling in for Mrs. Bell, who needed to take the month off for a personal matter. Your daughter is a wonderful little girl, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her these last couple weeks. But today there was a situation that came up.”

He sat up as she pulled out a stack of what looked like his Rx pads. “Do I want to know?”

She winced and slid the papers across the table. He leaned forward and picked up the papers, his eyes widening as he read his daughter’s handwritten prescriptions for…two gulps of nasty juice for being mean…two glasses of, um, fart juice for being so stinky…two bottles of mud for being a jerk. He stared at the notes, wondering what was worse, her spelling or the fact that it seemed like his daughter had stolen his prescription pad—which was a definite forbidden item—or that she seemed to be handing out mean punishments for people…or that her penmanship was atrocious. He looked up at Katryn, hoping for some kind of clarity. “I don’t even know what to say.”

She smiled sympathetically. “When I kept Abby in at recess to ask her, it took her quite a while to open up, but from what I gather, some of the kids haven’t been welcoming to her. This was her way of retaliating.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “I had no idea there were issues here. She seemed so happy at home.”

“I think she’s a really optimistic child. Even when she was sitting here explaining all of this to me, she seemed pretty confident that she would solve her own problems.”

He nodded, still feeling badly that his little girl wasn’t fitting in and she hadn’t told him. She’d resorted to…writing prescriptions to kids. One day he’d laugh about this. Not today, but one day. “I, uh, I’ll talk to her tonight about this. What about the kids who are bothering her?”

Katryn folded her hands in front of her. “Apparently, it’s three boys. I pulled them out into the hall and spoke to them. They won’t be going out for recess for a week, and they are all writing an apology letter to her. I really do think I got through to them. I have also phoned their parents, and they are aware of the situation. I will monitor things carefully now that I know what is going on.”

“Do you know what they were saying to her?” He didn’t like the idea of a group of boys bothering his daughter.

Katryn winced. “I think it has something to do with a skating class they’re all in together. I think they were teasing her about not having a mother skating with her during the Christmas performance.”

So much for parenting being easy. Richard took a deep breath and gathered…the prescriptions. There was nothing he could do about that. He could give his daughter anything she wanted, except a mother who wanted to be in her life. Dammit. “Okay, thank you. Can you follow up with me next week for an update? I’ll speak with Abby when I pick her up.”

Katryn stood and smiled. “I definitely will. I think this will blow over. Just a case of teasing the new girl that got a little carried away. But I don’t like the idea that Abby is feeling hurt, so I’ll make sure this gets shut down right away.”

Richard reached out and shook her hand. “Thank you for taking this seriously.”

She gave him a nod. “Of course. Have a good night, Richard.”

“Thanks,” he said, leaving the room, feeling completely unsure of himself. What the hell would he do now? He walked to his car, trying to process the information. The idea that a group of boys was bothering his daughter filled him with rage and remorse. Why hadn’t she told him? Why hadn’t she trusted him enough to confide in him? She’d had to come up with her own solution. He drove to Maya’s store and pulled up in the last empty spot in front of the shop.

The place was aglow, Christmas lights twinkling, and he could see her store was packed. He had no idea how she juggled the busy Christmas crowd and his daughter. Somehow, she managed, and she never looked frazzled. Since last week, the conversation between them had been strained, the attraction between them palpable. Even though he knew Abby adored Maya, he couldn’t take the risk. Maya was much younger than he was. How would she even feel about being with someone who already had a kid? She might not want kids for years. Hell, look at Alexandra. She was his age and still hadn’t matured enough to want her own biological child. There was no way he could put Abby through that again, no matter how attracted he was to Maya.

He made his way into the store and weaved through the busy shoppers, pleased that people seemed to be buying and not just browsing. He spotted Abby behind the cash counter with Maya and paused for a moment, emotion making him still. His daughter was smiling and packing up people’s orders, looking as happy as can be. She beamed up at Maya, who praised her for her great packing job. People buzzed around him, some of them sipping hot apple cider, but all looking like an ad for small-town Christmas.

Maya looked up at him, making eye contact over the crowd of people, as though she’d sensed he was there. For a second, the craziest image of them, that this was their life came over him. What would it be like to come home to Maya every night? As she turned from him, leaning down and laughing at something Abby said, he knew what it would mean to have Maya in his life. Maya was everything he needed, maybe what his daughter needed for a mother as well. Maya was everything good in the world, wrapped up in a heartbreakingly vulnerable and beautiful package that he desperately wanted. She was his past, the present, but also the future he didn’t deserve.

“Dad’s here!” Abby yelled, rounding the corner and inadvertently knocking into customers. He crouched down to receive her exuberant hug, holding her close.

“How are you, sweetie?” he said, smoothing her hair away from her face and looking into her sparkling eyes.

“Great! Especially now. Look how busy it is in here. Maya said she’s never seen it so busy and that it must be me bringing good luck. I think she’s going to be rich.”

He swallowed his laughter and put his index finger to his lips. “Do you want to get your bag and coat? We can go out for dinner tonight instead of having the, uh, stir fry I was going to make.” It’s not that he wanted to encourage what she’d done, but he also wanted to know why she hadn’t come to him and tell him what was happening at school. There was also the fact that he desperately needed to learn how to cook something other than stir fry. Even he was getting sick of it.

He waited for Abby, and the crowd thinned out, so he approached Maya at the cash counter. “How are you?” he asked feeling like an idiot. He didn’t know what to do with Maya…or his feelings toward her.

She smiled brightly at him. “Great. I can’t keep up with the crowd, but I’m not going to complain.”

He stepped a bit closer and lowered his voice, once he made sure Abby wasn’t standing around. “Has Abby seemed different to you this week?”

She frowned, and he saw the worry creep into her eyes. “Different how? She seems happy. Did something happen?”

He ran a hand over his jaw. “I just came back from a meeting with Katryn at the school, and apparently some boys were bothering her and teasing her.”

Maya’s eyes filled with tears. “What? No, no, she said nothing to me. Oh my goodness, Richard. You can’t let this happen to her.”

He blinked, staring at her, understanding she was worried for his daughter but sensing something more. Like her reaction was even worse than his. “Katryn said it’s being dealt with. The boys are being punished. They are writing apology letters.”

Maya shook her head. “Still. Schools don’t always know what’s going on. You’re going to have to follow up.”

“I will, Maya. I really think it will be fine,” he said, feeling bad for her.

She nodded, her face turning red, and she looked down at the counter. “I, uh, she’s just special to me, and I know she’s been through a lot. The last thing I want for her is to deal with bullies.”

He cleared the lump in his throat. “She’s sort of taken things into her own hands. It appears Abby isn’t one to hide or shrink away from bullies.”

“What do you mean?” she whispered, leaning forward. Her gorgeous eyes were filled with concern, her full mouth open slightly, and hell, he actually had to take a step back from her and remind himself of what they were talking about.

“So she stole my prescription pad and wrote out a bunch of mean prescriptions for them,” he said, amusement slowly flowing through him.

Maya’s eyes widened. “What?”

He nodded, handing her the pieces of paper. She flipped through them and then looked up at him, her eyes dancing with laughter and fondness. “Oh, I love her,” she whispered. He stopped breathing for a moment, knowing she was being serious, knowing that she wasn’t the type of woman who threw I love you’s around like confetti. “She’s so courageous and brave. You have to protect that in her, Richard,” she whispered.

He stood there, learning lessons, learning about life from a woman so much younger than him, who’d never been married before, who’d never had a child. She was teaching him about generosity and love and…God, how he wished he’d met her years ago.

“Dad, I’m ready!” Abby ran up to him, breaking the moment. He quickly stuffed the paper into his coat pocket.

“Can Maya come with us for dinner?” she asked, looking at Maya instead of him.

Maya winced. “I, um…”

“It’s closing time, Maya,” Abby said.

“We’d love it if you could join us,” Richard said, knowing she was thinking that it was just Abby doing the inviting. If Abby was around, he’d be forced to keep his thoughts platonic. He couldn’t get enough of Maya, and if he couldn’t have her as anything more than a friend, he’d take what he could get and be happy with it.

…

Maya settled in her seat at The Chocolatiers, pleased she’d secured a table right by the window. It was the best seat in the house, and considering how packed this place always was, she’d just achieved a huge victory. She had a few hours off thanks to her new employee, who was working out great. She loved her, and she was happy to help her out since she was one of the women from the Shadow Creek Women’s Shelter that had burned down a couple of months ago. All the women and children had been taken to different shelters in the city, but Faith was planning on moving back to Shadow Creek when she had enough money saved. She was working part time at the Chocolatiers and part time at Maya’s store.

Maya took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the work in front of her and not on the man she was infatuated with. It had been a week since the night at Richard’s house. They had seen each other every day. They went out for dinner, they went to skating class with Abby, they watched Abby’s ChristmasFest rehearsals…they were acting like a family, even though they weren’t.

Maya stared at her colored pens, trying to decide how to color-code her December calendar. Not that she needed to, but she liked the idea of having some fun with the schedule for the next two months. She also needed to do something to take her mind off Richard. She peeled off a candy cane sticker and added it to the corner of the first page and then chose a holly sticker for the second page. She opened up her day timer and began writing in her plans for the shop over the next two months. So far business had been going even better than expected, and she needed to keep gaining momentum, especially with the holiday season being the best retail time of the year.

She took a sip of her eggnog-flavored cappuccino and leaned back in her chair slightly, taking a moment to people watch. This place was doing steady business, and even though the Chocolatiers had only been around for a couple of years, they had already firmly entrenched themselves as one of the go-to places for coffee and sweets. They had even extended their evening hours during the holiday season. Maybe next year if she had another employee, that could be in the cards for her as well.

She took another sip of the rich coffee and focused on her calendar. The dates were quickly filling up with all the events she’d planned—holiday story nights, free gift wrapping, and apple cider during ChristmasFest.

“Planning on taking over the world?” Without looking up, she already knew who that cocky voice belonged to. She didn’t want to look up. Having seen him already at Target was more than enough. She sighed and put down her red pen and looked up at James.

“Not yet,” she said, forcing a smile.

“So I tried calling you, but you must have made a mistake because the number you gave me was for Mayor De La Rosa.”

She bit back a laugh. Too bad she’d never realized how obtuse he was in high school or she would have spared herself a lot of angst. “Oh, that’s strange. Well, I’d better get back to work.”

He sat down across from her. “You remind me of someone.”

She stared into his eyes. “Think really hard.”

His brow furrowed, but he didn’t say anything.

“Hi, Maya.”

Maya inhaled sharply and looked up in the direction of the only voice giving her the good kind of goosebumps these days. Richard was standing there, his hands tucked into the front pockets of his jeans, stubble lining his strong jaw, his eyes red because she knew he’d just spent the night at the hospital. He looked like everything she’d ever wanted but never thought herself good enough for. But the way he looked at her made her believe he thought she was more than good enough.

Before she could answer, James gasped and swore under his breath. “You’re kidding me. Maya De La Rosa?”

Heat gushed through her body, and she didn’t look up at Richard. “That’s impressive. Good for you, James,” she said, trying to look calm and collected. She needed him to leave.

“Well, see you later,” he said, but he didn’t move; he kept staring at her in a way that made her want to run and hide because he was probably thinking back to every awful word and thing he did to her. She didn’t run and hide. She sat there with her head held high, her eyes steady on him.

“I think there’s a sale on Pringles next door,” Richard said.

Maya shut her eyes and tried not to laugh.

James stood up slowly. “Wow,” he said under his breath.

She crossed her leg and flicked her hair over one shoulder, hoping he didn’t notice her hand tremble. So her secret was out and the guy that treated her like such garbage in high school was now in shock. It was sad and pathetic. None of this should mean anything to her. She’d been out of high school for a decade, so why should this bother her still? Because he hadn’t just been mean; he and his group of cool friends had been cruel, and it had scarred her for many years. Between what they had done and her mother, she’d had major self-esteem issues. “Say hi to your friends for me,” she said, smiling, almost forgetting Richard was there.

“I feel like I just walked in on something,” Richard said, sitting down.

She tried to look normal because really, she didn’t want to think about that idiot. She wanted to concentrate on the man in front of her. “Uh, no.”

He gave her a lopsided grin. “I can’t even remember anyone from high school. I have a selective memory.”

She laughed. “That’s probably for the best when it comes to high school.”

“I wanted to tell you that Abby’s old babysitter can watch her for the night of your mother’s party.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Oh, Richard. We don’t actually have to go to that. I mean, I wasn’t planning on it. Neither of my sisters are going.”

He frowned. “Oh, I was under the impression…”

When his voice trailed off, dread and mortification filled her body. “Omigod, you were under the impression I couldn’t get a date, I needed my mother to find me one, and you were going to spare me the humiliation of having to go alone.”

He blinked, looking completely out of his element. She’d ranted. She’d shown her hand. She was insecure, and she’d just given him a glimpse at the worst of her. Then he leaned forward and she was compelled to do the same, because his eyes were glittering and his jaw was set. It was a very mesmerizing look that had her holding her breath, anticipating…something. “I’m not going to that party because I think you can’t get a date. I’m pretty damn sure half the town would line up to get a chance at going out with you. I’ve wanted to take you out since the minute I met you, when Abby ran away from me and into your shop. There’s something about you, Maya, that is so sweet and so sexy at the same time, and I’m mad at myself for not being able to just keep my thoughts to myself. Though the last thing I’m in the market for is another relationship. I’m not prepared to go down that road again, and I’m sorry. But don’t ever mistake my not making any advances on you as disinterest. I’m just not the guy for you. You deserve so much more than I have to offer. All I have is my friendship.”

She stared at him, not knowing what to feel or what to say. The one man who was so out of her league, who was everything she’d ever wanted in a partner, was telling her that he was off the market. But the part she couldn’t get out of her head was that…he wanted her. How could this be happening to her? She’d been waiting her whole life for someone like him to come along. She forced a smile on her face, trying to understand where he was coming from. “I…feel the same way about you. I respect that you’re putting Abby first. I get that, Richard,” she said, gathering her things quickly, the urge to be alone driving her to move quickly. His hand caught hers, holding her still, and she looked up at him, willing herself not to give everything away.

“Maya, what I’d give for one night with you, but that’s not what you deserve, and I know that won’t be enough for either of us.”

She was going to die. Seriously, die in the Chocolatiers, because the most wonderful, hottest man she’d ever met just said in a deep, thick, sultry voice that he wanted to spend the night with her…and that it wouldn’t be enough. She knew her face was all sorts of red that she couldn’t even control. “I, um, I need to get going.”

She all but ran out of the bakery, the cold air hitting her face like a soothing balm. She forced herself to slow down or risk the humiliation of falling on the snow-and ice-covered sidewalks. She made her way to her store, very aware that she’d run away like a child, but knowing she needed to get the heck away from him. To make him make an exception to his no dating plan? She wasn’t just any woman; she adored his little girl. She…what was she thinking? She leaned her head on the back of the wall behind her store. She couldn’t sabotage his plans and intrude on his family life. She didn’t know the first thing about being a mother, and it was selfish of her to even go there. No, it was hands off with Richard. There would be other men.

Right?

A New Beginning 8

Richard unlocked the door at three o’clock in the morning, exhausted but happy his emergency surgery went well. He also felt guilty he’d left Maya here all night.

He walked in and hung up his coat and noticed the house looked immaculate. The under-cabinet lighting was on, along with the Christmas tree, lending just enough light so he could walk without banging into anything. There was a plate on the counter with what must have been leftovers for him, along with a napkin and fork. He stopped in the middle of the room when he spotted Maya curled up on the couch, looking like the sweetest and most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

He didn’t want to wake her, and yet he wanted her company. He wanted to lie beside her; he wanted her to wake up and smile at him as though this was their normal life. Instead, because he’d made a mess of his life and his daughter’s life, he picked up the neatly folded blanket and placed it over Maya’s body, smiling as she sighed in her sleep.

It took every ounce of self-control to leave the room. He put the food in the fridge, noticing it was stir-fry; he wondered how that went over. He stopped to admire the tree, emotion washing over him as the beauty of it hit him. To others, it may have looked like Christmas exploded with wild, mismatched, and tinsel-laden decorations, but to him it looked like it had been decorated by a daughter who was finally allowed to be the little girl she was meant to be…and by a woman who had shown his daughter more kindness and patience than her own parents.

“Do you like the tree, Dad?” Abby whispered in a not-too-soft voice. She was standing in the doorway to her room, rubbing her eyes, her candy-cane flannel nightgown making him smile.

“I love it,” he whispered, walking toward her and motioning for her to get back into bed.

He smiled. “It’s looking like Christmas in here,” he said, pointing to the tinsel around her window and bedposts.

She turned to him, beaming. “I asked Maya to help me with my plans for my room decorations, and she agreed she thought it was a good idea.”

More like Abby had convinced Maya and bull-dozed her opinions on tinsel. He pulled back her covers, and she jumped into bed with an energy he found himself envious of. He tucked her nightgown around her and then pulled the covers over her. “Did you have fun with Maya?”

She beamed and nodded. “We had the best time ever. We even rehearsed our skating moves even though we danced them out. Did you know Maya was a figure skater?”

“No, I didn’t,” he said, hanging onto every piece of information about Maya. How sad he’d become that he was now getting information about Maya from his eight year old?

“Well, she was. I want to do figure skating too. Can I?”

“Sure. For now, let’s just worry about getting the basics down.”

“Maya will help me. She’s great. She knows everything. But you know what?”

He leaned forward.

Abby winced. “I think she’s afraid of mice.”

He stifled his smile, not wanting to give away Maya’s secret. “She might not be crazy about them. Feel like a story?” he asked.

“Of course! Maya read me three, but I’ve always got time for one more.”

He smiled and walked over to her bookshelf. He wasn’t surprised she’d read Abby three, one night he’d had to read five and had fallen asleep during the last one. “Anything come to mind?”

“You can pick, but it has to be Christmas.”

“Sure,” he said, skimming the shelf. Most of the books were from Maya’s store, and he knew she’d probably read most of them already. “But just one and then it’s back to bed. It’s the middle of the night.”

“Is Maya still here?”

He nodded, trying not to remember the enticing picture Maya made on the sofa. “She is. She’s sleeping, though, so let’s be quiet.”

“Dad, maybe you can just sit and talk to me.”

He turned around. “Really?”

She nodded.

“Okay,” he said, sitting beside her. “Anything you want to talk about in particular?”

“I like it here,” she said, her eyes on him.

He smiled. “I’m glad, Abby. Hey, how come you ate stir fry tonight?”

She giggled. “I didn’t want Maya to not like me, so I pretended it was my favorite.”

“Did you let the vegetables touch the chicken and the rice?”

She nodded, her eyes went round and filled with laughter. He tickled her, laughing along with her. “We’d better be quiet. I’m glad you had fun with Maya.”

“I like that this was your house.”

Warmth filled his chest, and he was surprised by the idea that his daughter might be appreciating the security that came from living in a place that was part of her family. Her security was shattered after the divorce and the move, but maybe this had been the right thing all along. “It’s a pretty special place. I’m kind of sad sometimes when I think of how long I stayed away.”

“Do you miss them?” she whispered, her eyes shining.

“My parents?”

She nodded.

He ran his hand down the front of his jeans. “I do. A lot. But I guess I feel close to them here, and that’s nice.”

She reached out to hold his hand. He looked down at her small, pale hand in his, and the lump in his throat grew at that gesture of comfort. “Am I going to see Mom again?”

“Of course you will. She’s going to plan some dates, and you can go visit her.”

“Maybe she can come here instead.”

He squeezed her hand. He hadn’t told her that her mom was staying in Paris or that she hadn’t even asked to speak to Abby. He didn’t have the heart to tell her. He was hoping Alexandra would get out of whatever mood she was in and realize she was still a mother. “We’ll see what we can do.”

She frowned, a look of worry shooting across her eyes. “I like being here with you. Just you and me and no nanny.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment because of the emotion reminding him of everything he’d been missing out on. “I like it, too.”

“And I like Maya.”

He cleared his throat. “I like Maya, too.”

“She’s going to help me make a gingerbread house next Sunday if we don’t have plans. She knows how to make anything, Dad. She said it won’t make me fat, either.”

He stilled. “Pardon?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I asked her because remember Mom would always say not to eat treats because it’ll make you fat and lumpy?”

He ran his hands down his face. It was too late at night for this. He’d naively hoped that Abby would have forgotten all that crap. One of the more disturbing things he’d noticed was that as Alexandra’s business grew, so did her obsession with appearances. Hours a day were spent either shopping, getting herself groomed, working out, or putting outfits together. She constantly spoke about fashion and weight in the limited time she was around them. He knew enough to know that wasn’t what he wanted for their daughter. He didn’t want her to be raised in an environment that was so focused on appearances that there was nothing left for what really mattered. His biggest regret was losing sight of who he was at his core.

Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe this town, this home, these people would be his second chance to rebuild their lives. Maybe he could be a real father to Abby.

Alexandra threw I love you’s around like confetti on a wedding day. She said I love you to the concierge when he had a package for her containing her favorite brands. She said I love you to her clients. She said I love you to her BFFs. She even said I love you to her reflection. By the time her I love you’s were handed out to him or Abby, they meant nothing.

He didn’t want to tarnish Abby’s image of her mother, but he needed to correct what he felt was work, especially since he was the full-time parent. “What did Maya say?” he asked.

“She said that’s not something kids should really be worried about. She said as long as I eat healthy food and play and do sports, I don’t need to worry about how I look. She said it was important to be healthy and happy and that treats are okay if we don’t eat them all the time.”

God, how was he ever going to stay away from Maya? She was what they both needed in their lives. “I think Maya’s right, don’t you?”

She nodded. He smoothed her hair away from her face as she smiled up at him. “You’re a good daddy.”

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You make it easy.”

She beamed at him. “We’re going to be okay, Dad. I thought I was going to be sad forever, but I’m not because I never knew that leaving would mean that you and I would get to be together every day. I really like all the time you spend with me. I never knew you were so funny. I want to stay with you forever, Dad.” She sat up and threw herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck. He held her small body against his tightly and squeezed his eyes shut as moisture filled his eyes. His throat hurt, and he kissed the top of her head, wondering how this could all be happening, how this little girl was capable of loving and forgiving him like this. It couldn’t be this easy, could it? All that had been needed all along was just love?

Some days, he felt like he was really getting the hang of this parenting thing. Those were the nights that made him feel the worst, ironically. Mostly as he was lying in bed alone, thinking back on the little things that Abby did to make him smile or laugh, which inevitably led to him wondering how he ignored her for years. He hadn’t been a father until now. It had taken him eight years to really understand, to really love her. It was unforgivable. He’d justified it by telling himself he was saving lives, but the truth was that he was killing the one life that meant the most to him. Some nights he’d stare at the ceiling and shame would rip into him. He’d been brought up by good people, simple people who knew what mattered most in life. He had thrown away all those old values for wealth and prestige.

If he could go back…if he could go back, he’d fix it so that Abby would have no memory of the man he used to be. If he could go back, he’d tell his parents he was sorry for not thinking they were enough, that there was something else that could have fulfilled him as much as the love of family. If he could go back, he would have opened a bottle of champagne and celebrated and thanked God for the day his sweet daughter was born.

…

Maya laid perfectly still, the glow from the Christmas tree making the hard lines of Richard’s face seem even more perfect, if that were somehow possible. She had just opened her eyes and noticed Richard standing in front of the Christmas tree. Judging by his profile, he was deep in thought, and she wasn’t about to interrupt him.

It was almost four in the morning, and he must have just come home from the hospital. His hair was damp, and he was wearing worn-in jeans and a white T-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders. Tears pricked her eyes as he leaned back and stared at the star at the top of the tree. She was discovering he was a man who hid a lot of his heart, of his hurt. She shifted, and he turned around, blinking away moisture from his eyes. “Hi, I hope I didn’t wake you,” he said, his voice deliciously low.

She sat up and shook her head, feeling her hair come loose and tumble around her shoulders. His gaze flickered over her, and her heart fluttered as she saw the spark in his eyes. Was this actually happening? Was the attraction mutual? He sat down beside her, and she almost stopped breathing. This close she could count the few strands of grey at his temples, the fine lines around his eyes. His eyes…sometimes they seemed to penetrate through her, and they seemed to hold her still. She sat there, anticipating that she was on the brink of a life-changing moment that she probably wasn’t ready for but that she might never be ready for. She felt somewhat comforted by the blanket…as if it could somehow offer her shelter in case this wasn’t what she was hoping for. Had he put the blanket on her when he’d come home? She hoped she hadn’t been drooling.

“Thank you for staying with Abby,” Richard said. His eyes were filled with tenderness, and his mouth had curled up into a hint of a smile that was just enough that she could justify her curling her toes.

“We had a fun time. She’s a really great kid,” she said, trying not to cringe at how breathy her voice sounded. She sat up a little straighter, tucking the blanket around her. She needed to leave. Like, go home. Because right now, her thoughts weren’t on babysitting; they were on him and the fact that the vibe had changed, and she really wanted to say…I don’t know what to do when you give me all your attention and look at me like…like you want me.

“Thank you. She really loves her time with you. You…you came through for her at a time she really needed a woman in her life to show her affection. I won’t be able to make that up to you,” he said, his gaze dipping to her mouth.

“She makes it easy. I should probably get going,” she said, standing abruptly.

He stood beside her. “Sure. Of course. Are you okay?”

She looked up into his eyes. “I am, but I have to work tomorrow, and it’s crazy early so I’m thinking I might as well use that time to prep some of the activities and sales I have coming up in the next few weeks.”

He took a step back. “Of course. I really didn’t mean to take up your time.” She waved a hand and walked backward, almost falling over the end table. He reached out to steady the lamp. “I’m fine. Did it stop snowing?” she asked, even though she could see perfectly well that it had.

“Yeah, the side roads haven’t been plowed, so be careful,” he said, taking her coat off the rack and helping her into it. Oh boy, the gesture, coming from him was chivalrous and made her feel cared for. “I cleaned the snow off your car, so you should be good.”

“Thank you.”

“Maya…I…”

She turned around and looked up at him, knowing he was going to say he couldn’t have a woman in his life but not wanting to hear him say it. “Sometimes I think…I think you’re a really nice man who needs to concentrate on rebuilding his life with his daughter.” Her voice came out sounding breathy, and for some ridiculous reason, she kept looking from his eyes to his mouth.

He took a step closer to her, and her heart pattered faster than what should be a healthy tempo. “What do you think the other times?”

She swallowed hard and looked him directly in his eyes. “I think you should tell me what you think first.”

“All right. I think I came back home to get away from the kind of life I’d been living for the last ten years. I came back to try and fix my relationship with Abby and to give her a childhood closer to the one I’d had. I came back, determined to stay single. But then Abby ran into your store, and the minute I saw you, I knew I was in trouble.”

He was maybe an inch or two from her now, surely close enough to see that she was very close to hyperventilating. His voice had dipped low and seemed to scrape against all her nerve endings and stir that part of her that had been dormant forever. “But I can’t go back down that road again, Maya. I can’t trust someone with my daughter again. I can’t have another woman walk out on her.” He backed up a step, his strong jaw clenching and unclenching, regret stamped across his handsome face.

Maya forced a bright smile, one she’d perfected over the years for moments just like this. This one just stung the most.

A New Beginning 7

Richard didn’t want to look over at Maya, especially when he heard sniffles. He was embarrassed that he’d revealed so much about himself today. But he wouldn’t take any of it back. “I’m so happy you didn’t leave me, Dad,” she whispered in his ear. He closed his eyes and held on tight.

“Never, ever,” he whispered hoarsely. When she pulled back, he looked in Maya’s direction, but she wasn’t there.

“Okay, Abby. How about we have some of the lunch Maya was nice enough to pick up?”

Abby nodded. “Yes, I’m starving!”

He walked toward the kitchen, and Maya came out with the takeout soup in bowls, her eyes shiny, indicating she’d heard almost everything. But neither of them said anything, and Abby took over the conversation. She didn’t even complain about the vegetables in the soup that were touching noodles. They sat around the table eating together…like a family. They had rarely even done this with Alexandra, and yet now he and Abby ate most of their meals together. Maya fit in with them as though they’d been doing this for years. She spoke with Abby and listened and laughed at his daughter’s antics along with him. When Abby spilled half her soup, Maya had immediately helped her while he’d cleaned the mess on the table.

“Dad, what about the ancient Christmas star you said you had?” Abby asked when she finished her soup.

Maya looked at him questioningly.

“My mother hand-beaded a wired star for the top of our tree. I’d forgotten about it until we were shopping today.”

“That sounds very special,” she said, smiling softly at him. Maya seemed to appreciate all this stuff, all the stuff he’d dismissed for so long. These objects, this house, the memories it held were things he’d pushed aside, had deemed insignificant in his adult life.

He’d never talked to Alexandra much about his parents; he didn’t really know why. Or maybe he never thought about why until now. Part of why he’d stayed with Alexandra for so long was that she’d never demanded anything from him emotionally. She had no use for his parents, for his past, because none of it was important for her. When he’d lost them…he’d almost pretended it hadn’t happened. After coming back and having their house packed up, deciding on a few things to keep in the basement, he’d almost closed that chapter on his life. He’d flown back to the city and cut the cord with his other life. But now, standing with Abby, who was looking as though she was desperately clinging to the idea of knowing her heritage, he realized how wrong he’d been. What was wrong with him? How had he gotten his priorities so messed up? “It was, if I remember correctly. Sure, Abby. I’ll see if I can find it.”

“Come with us, Maya. The basement is spooky.”

He glanced over at Maya, who was looking slightly uncomfortable. She tucked some strands of brown hair behind her ears, and he clenched his hands in his pockets, the unfamiliar urge to reach out and touch her catching him by surprise. Well, maybe not surprise, but still, it wasn’t a convenient emotion. “Oh, um, that’s okay, sweetie. You go ahead with your dad. I’ll just stay here and continue the decorating.”

Abby put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. “Maya, I think you’re afraid of spooky basements.”

“Abby…” he warned, watching as Maya’s cheeks grew warm. Was his daughter more perceptive than he was?

“I love spooky basements. I mean, the spookier the better,” Maya said with a smile that clearly didn’t reach her eyes as she followed them down the hall.

“Great. Let’s go! Dad goes first. I go second. Maya, you’ll be safe if you’re last. If something was going to get us, it’ll get Dad first.”

“It’s great to know you find me so expendable, Abby,” he said, flicking on the light to the basement and trying not to laugh.

“That doesn’t make sense. You can’t expand,” she said, giving him a push down the narrow wooden stairs.

“Can you not try to kill me, please?”

He heard Maya’s muffled laughter, and the three of them descended the staircase slowly. “Do you think there’s rats and mice?” Abby said with excitement. He had no idea his daughter loved rodents.

He heard an odd noise from Maya but couldn’t turn around because the stairs were narrow and steep. The single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling cast only a dim glow in the entryway of the basement, leaving the rest almost completely dark. “There shouldn’t be. There’s no food or anything, and I think there might be some traps out.”

“Oh, so there’ll be dead mice?”

He was standing at the foot of the stairs, and he saw Maya pause when Abby mentioned dead mice.

“Come on, Maya, hurry. I can’t wait to find the star!”

Maya gave a wobbly smile. “Sure thing, can’t wait.”

The damp, musty smell of the old basement was exactly as he remembered. He would help his father haul the boxes up every Christmas and then down again every January. His father would always warn him not to tell his mother when they found a mouse in a trap. She would proudly declare how even though they lived in the country, they’d never had a mouse in the house and that it must be due to her excellent housekeeping skills. He smiled, picturing his father’s sparkling eyes across the dinner table when his mother would bring that up.

“Dad, do you know where the boxes are? I can barely see down here!”

“I think we should have brought a flashlight,” he said, walking deeper into the basement.

“I’ll go get one!” she said, just as the one lightbulb flickered and then died.

“Oh, maybe I can go,” Maya said, her voice sounding strangled.

“No, you’ll never find it because Dad is disorganized and I took all the flashlights for a party I was having with my animals last week.”

“Great,” Richard said as his daughter ran up the stairs.

“Richard?” Maya said, her voice making him turn around. She sounded…nervous.

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m fine I guess. Except for the fact that I’m in a basement that’s filled with rodents, and I hate creepy dark places,” she whispered, the nervousness sounding closer to panic.

“Okay, hold on,” he said, turning in the direction of her voice. It really was pitch black down here. He swore as he bumped into a box. “Where are you?”

“Omigosh,” she hissed, “I think something just crawled over my foot.”

“Are you afraid of mice?”

He jumped as he felt hands grab clumps of his sweater.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she whispered.

“You didn’t scare me. I just didn’t expect to be grabbed in the dark.”

“I wasn’t grabbing you.”

“You did,” he said, turning around. He didn’t want to add that he didn’t mind being grabbed by her, but that would be crossing the line. And he shouldn’t want a woman in his life again; it wouldn’t be fair to Abby. He turned around, and his body brushed against soft curves that sent a jolt of unwanted awareness through his body. Hell. Maya didn’t pull back. Instead, she clutched his arms, her nails digging into his biceps. “Something furry just ran across my feet.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, trying not to laugh.

“Listen, I’m trying really hard to keep it together, but it’s dark and dingy, and I swear if those lights come on and I see something furry with a long tail and pointy ears anywhere down here, I’m going to lose my cool, and I’m going to look like an idiot.”

“You’re afraid of mice?”

“Mice, rats, bats, spiders if they are larger than a dime.”

“Well, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want Abby to know I had this hang up, and I didn’t want her to think that all women are like me. I also didn’t want her to think there was some validity to my fear. It’s irrational, but you know, girl power and all that stuff? Yeah, I sacrificed my sanity for my new little friend.”

He was torn between laughing and being touched. She had filtered her own thoughts and had braved a fear out of concern for his daughter. He didn’t want to compare her to Alexandra, because it wasn’t fair, but Alexandra had never filtered her hang-ups. She’d imposed them on their daughter, and he was now going to have to spend years trying to undo the damage. “I won’t spill your secret,” he said, very aware of her hands on his body and how good it felt.

“That’s great, but what are you going to do about the rodent situation?”

“Right.” Maybe he wasn’t in a hurry to have Maya take her hands off of him. He liked having her close; he liked the subtle scent of flowers. “I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything down here.”

“I have a light, I have a flashlight!”

Maya let out a sigh of relief, and her hands dropped from his arms. She didn’t move away from him, though.

A light beamed directly in his eyes, and he squinted. “Abby, keep the light on the floor and not in my eyes, please,” he said.

“Sure, sorry, Dad,” she said, pointing the flashlight to the ground. He quickly scanned the ground, looking for any signs of furry creatures.

“Look! A dead mouse!” Abby squealed with excitement. “We can perform a blopsy!”

“A what?” He stood in front of Maya to block her from the view of the mouse.

“You know, to find out the cause of death.”

An autopsy. Hell, where did she get this stuff? It was impressive. This opened up many conversation possibilities for them. “You mean autopsy, sweetheart. But we really don’t want to do that right now. Besides, we know he died because he got stuck in the trap.”

He heard what sounded like a muffled scream and turned toward Maya, whose eyes were shut and her hands were covering her mouth. “How about Maya goes upstairs and we deal with…this situation?”

“Sure, sounds good,” Maya croaked.

“Are you sure you don’t want to help, Maya?” Abby said.

“I’m actually really thirsty. I think I need a drink,” she said, shielding her eyes as she walked by them.

“Wine is on the counter. Don’t look left.”

“Thanks,” she said, storming up the stairs.

Once he and Abby retrieved the star, dealt with the mouse, and washed their hands, they joined Maya in the kitchen. She was looking much calmer and sipping a glass of wine.

He was about to pour himself a glass when his phone rang with the custom hospital ring. Crap. He didn’t mind being on call and having to drop everything to get to the hospital, but tonight…he’d been enjoying his time so much. He had also hoped to have some time alone with Maya, not that it could go anywhere, but he couldn’t deny his need to get to know her better.

“That’s Dad’s work ring. It means he’s going to leave,” Abby said. He answered it while noticing that she didn’t look all that bothered. Sure enough, he was needed at the hospital.

He looked over at Maya. “I hate to do this, but I’m on call this weekend, and I’m needed.”

“No problem. It’s perfect timing because I’m already here, and Abby and I have a ton of stuff to do anyway,” she said, shooting his daughter a smile.

“Yes! Movies, Christmas carols, more decorations, stockings,” she said, running out of the room—presumably to get the supplies for everything she’d mentioned.

He was getting on his jacket and boots. “Looks like we’re in for a storm.”

Maya’s gaze went from his to the window, a slight frown appearing in her forehead. “Well, drive carefully. You know how bad it can get out there.”

He paused for a moment, the genuine concern in her voice making him feel all the things he didn’t want to feel. She hadn’t even batted an eye when he’d said he’d have to go into the hospital. He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back…”

She held up her hand and smiled. “Don’t even think twice about it. We will be fine.”

He gave her a nod just as Abby came barreling out of her bedroom. It occurred to him that back in the city he’d never seen her so animated; she’d always been calm. Here, it was as though every sentence out of her mouth ended with an exclamation point, and she only ran instead of walking. It was like she was an entirely different child. Abby put her hands on his back and pushed him toward the door. “You go. We’ll be fine,” she said, blowing him a kiss when he turned around.

He laughed and bent down to give her a real hug, the gesture so natural when it hadn’t been a mere year ago. “All right. I’ll see you tonight. Be good for Maya.”

She nodded, and Maya walked over to stand behind her, placing her hands on her shoulders. “This place will be all decorated by the time you get back, Richard.”

“Well, no pressure. If you just want to relax and watch a movie, that’s fine.”

“We’re going to do both, I think.”

Abby jumped up and down again. “Bye, Dad!”

He smiled on his way to the car, the cold wind and snow not bothering him a bit. Something was happening to him. It wasn’t just Christmas, it wasn’t just Abby, it wasn’t just being back home…it was all of it, and Maya. He loved work, but he was looking forward to coming back home to both of them tonight.

…

Maya closed the Christmas book she’d finished reading Abby. “Well, I had a great day. How about you?”

Abby nodded, smiling. “It was awesome. I’ve never seen Dad so happy.”

Her heart leaped, and she struggled with what to say next. It’s not like she would ever stoop to trying to get information from a child, but it was kind of a curious statement. Surely, Richard had been happy before. Maybe she was referring to the end of her parents’ marriage. Things must have been so hard on the little girl. “He was happy. That’s one of the reasons I like Christmas so much. Everyone is in a great mood and thinking about helping others.”

Abby nodded. “I don’t know what I should get him for Christmas.”

Maya sighed and leaned against the headboard beside Abby. “It’s always tough, trying to figure out what to give the people closest to us, isn’t it? I think you should make him something. Parents really love it when their kids put time and effort into making them something special. It would beat a store-bought gift any day.”

Abby nodded, tapping her finger against her chin. She was so cute that Maya had to smile at the mature gesture. “I wouldn’t know what to make.”

“What about a picture?”

She shrugged. “That’s boring. I can do that any old day.”

“Okay, well, how about on Monday after school when you come by, we think of something? We can look up different Christmas craft ideas for kids, and then we can work on it after school until you’re done.”

Abby’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really, Maya?”

“Of course. We’ll have fun. Then Tuesday we can go to the outdoor rink and practice our routine. You have, what, two weeks left before Christmas break? We can totally get it done. I’ll get the supplies for you, and we’ll get to work.”

Abby squealed and hugged her. “You’re the best, Maya. I’m so happy I know you. At first, I was really scared about coming here, but I knew it’s where Dad grew up, and now it’s turning out to be amazing. I know you, and now I get to spend way more time with Dad than I ever used to. Before, I hardly saw him,” she whispered.

Maya’s heart squeezed. “I know surgeons work long hours because they have really important jobs.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t it. I never saw him or my mom because I spent all my time with my nanny. But here, I see Dad all the time. It’s like all of a sudden he thought I was important.”

Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and she realized how significant what Abby was telling her was and how little she really knew of Richard. The conversation was getting very personal, and Abby was trusting her with information she wasn’t even aware the little girl knew was so revealing. “Oh, Abby, your dad and mom always think you’re important.”

Abby shrugged. “Well, I don’t know Maya. I don’t think so. I think my Dad only thought I was important when Mom said she didn’t want me anymore.”

Maya stopped breathing. Do not cry. Do not cry. She didn’t know the details, and she shouldn’t be re-writing a history that she didn’t know, but how awful that this little girl was thinking her mother didn’t want her and the only reason Richard did was because there was no one left. “Sweetie, I don’t know your mom, but I’m sure she loves you very much, and I’m sure she misses you and does the best she can.”

Abby shrugged. “I guess. But all I know is that ever since moving to Shadow Creek, I got the best family I ever had, and I’m so glad you’re part of it.”

Maya hugged the little girl close, wishing thousands of wonderful things for her, wishing that this truly was the beginning of a new life for Abby and Richard. “I’m so happy I met you, Abby.”

She stood slowly, and Abby snuggled her favorite bear and smiled at her. “You’re going to stay here until Dad gets back, right?”

She stood in the doorway, resting her hands on the doorjamb. “Of course I’m staying here. I’ll probably do some clean up and then watch TV until your dad gets home.”

Abby smiled sleepily. “I’m so glad I don’t have a nanny anymore. Now it’s just you and Dad. Night, Maya.”

Her throat constricted, and she smiled back. “Night, sweetie. Go dream about Christmas.”

“Best idea ever.”

Maya closed the door, leaving it open a crack, and made her way back to the great room. They hadn’t bothered cleaning up after dinner. She wrapped up some of the leftover stir-fry she’d made in case he hadn’t had time to eat at the hospital. Abby had helped her chop vegetables and had eaten all of them, talking about their nutritional value. It had been impressive. Maya left the plate with plastic wrap on the counter and cleaned up the kitchen quickly and efficiently before moving on to the family room. She sat down on the couch an hour later with a satisfied sigh.

She turned on the television, seeking out a Christmas movie, but her mind wandered to the two people who were starting to mean so much to her. Her heart felt like it was going to burst when she was around Abby. She felt a connection to the little girl that she couldn’t deny, and she felt a kinship toward her, she understood her loneliness, and she was determined to help her…and her father. She knew Richard wasn’t anything like the men she was used to, and she sensed his pain, she heard it in his voice, she felt it when he spoke to her and then Abby today. She knew there was so much more to him than just the talented, handsome surgeon that he presented to the world. Despite the attraction she felt building between them, she could never get involved with a man who wasn’t willing to try again at happily ever after, no matter how sweet he’d been about the mouse debacle in the basement or how good he’d felt up close.

A New Beginning 6

Maya carefully placed the bag of takeout on the floor in the passenger side of her car. She’d decided she’d grab lunch for them, since it was already well into the afternoon. She stopped into the new deli on Main Street and picked up three bowls of chicken noodle soup, biscuits, and baked beans.

She plugged in Richard’s address into her GPS and began the thirty-minute drive. It was the opposite direction of where she’d grown up and was actually closer to the small town of Cedar Crossing than Shadow Creek. When she pulled onto his street, she slowed her speed to adjust to the slippery road conditions as the snow began to accumulate. There was only one house in the distance, and she could see smoke tufts coming from the stone chimney. She pulled into the long driveway of the charming ranch house, and she smiled as Abby whipped open the front door and jumped up and down.

She gathered the takeout and her purse and shivered as she walked up the front steps. “It’s feeling a lot like Christmas out here,” she said.

“I was waiting and waiting! I thought maybe you changed your mind.”

“I’d never do that, Abby,” she said, ruffling the top of the little girl’s head. Abby opened the door wider, and she walked in.

“Hi, Maya,” Richard said, his voice sounding strained. “Come on in.” She looked around for him but didn’t see him.

“Dad is under the tree,” Abby said, pointing to the massive tree in the corner of the large room. The ceilings were vaulted with rustic beams, and the tree suited the height. Sure enough, Richard’s legs were sticking out, one of them slightly drawn. She tried not to stare at the exposed stomach that revealed taut abs.

“Dad is having trouble getting the lights to work. I told him he doesn’t know how to do this, but he says he’s a surgeon and if he can figure out how to cut someone up, he can figure out how to hook up some stupid lights.”

Maya laughed out loud.

“That wasn’t a direct quote,” Richard said, sliding out from under the tree. His hair was disheveled, and the lopsided grin he gave her made her toes curl.

“Dad, did you fix the lights?”

“Let’s see,” he said, plugging them in. A second later, the multicolored lights lit the enormous evergreen, and Abby jumped up and down.

“You did it! Now we can decorate.”

“I’m glad I’ve managed to restore your faith in me,” he said, giving Abby a kiss on the head.

She beamed up at him and patted his stomach. “Of course, Dad. I was only joking.”

“Thanks. You hungry? Is it time I made some lunch for us?” he asked.

“Oh, I picked some up. I thought we’d be busy decorating,” Maya said, holding up the bag.

He wiped his hands on the front of his jeans. “Thanks, you didn’t need to do that. Tell me what I owe you,” he said, taking the bag from her hands. His fingers brushed against hers, and a wave of heat washed over her.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing extravagant,” she said, walking with him to the kitchen.

“I don’t feel right about that. I’ll add it to the bill for watching Abby,” he said. “Oh, let me take your coat,” he said.

She shrugged out of her jacket and handed it to him with an awkward smile. She had managed to behave like a normal person in front of him, but at his home, she felt very strange. This was all very homey, very personal. “I like your house,” she said, taking in the open concept main floor.

He hung up her jacket on the rack by the door and then joined her in the kitchen. “Thanks,” he said.

“It’s the house Dad grew up in,” Abby called out from the adjoining family room.

“You grew up in Shadow Creek?” she asked, trying to place him or his family, but couldn’t. He was older than her, but still.

He shrugged. “Not really. We’re technically closer to Cedar Crossing, so that’s where I went to school and where we shopped. Obviously, we’ve been to Shadow Creek many times, but it wasn’t exactly where I grew up.”

She hadn’t expected that at all. He seemed like a city boy right from the moment she met him. While this house was very nice, it wasn’t the type of place she pictured him in. It was rustic, and she could tell he’d had to renovate it. But it wasn’t large—it was the home of hardworking, modest people. “So, you went away for school.”

A look flashed across his face, and she couldn’t tell if it was discomfort at having to reveal something about himself…or discomfort over the choices he’d made. “I did. I guess I fell in love with the city, and I wanted to work in hospitals that had the best to offer.”

“My sisters too. Did you miss Montana?”

He looked down for a moment, his jaw clenched. Her stomach tightened, not intending on these being difficult questions, but it seemed like for him they meant a lot more. “Not really. Not until…I came back. I convinced myself there was nothing for me here, for a surgeon.” She held her breath as he looked at her, his eyes glittering with something she wished had something to do with her. It was silly because he’d never expressed anything other than reluctant friendship toward her. “What about you?”

She toyed with the stack of napkins she was holding and searched for an answer that didn’t involve her saying that she’d left because she needed to go to a place where no one knew her as Fatty Maya. “I missed it. I think I’m a small-town girl at heart, but it was good to be away. I needed the experience. I needed to see something beyond Shadow Creek in order to really appreciate it for what it is.”

He nodded, his eyes on hers, giving her his full attention. He cleared his throat. “You suit it here. Shadow Creek, I mean.”

She was going to take that as a compliment because she knew that was how he intended it. She shrugged. “It’s my home. Despite…everything, I’m happy to be back. I’m happy to see my sisters almost every day of the week.”

He smiled. “That must be nice, to have family. And of course, there’s your mother.”

She laughed. “That’s a story for another day that includes an entire bottle of wine, for myself.”

He laughed, the sound rich and warm and masculine, and had she not been so aware of her reactions, she would have probably sighed out loud. “We all have those stories, I guess.”

“What made you come back?” When had she become so bold and talkative? This wasn’t the normal Maya. The old Maya would have just smiled and not wanted to intrude. But she wanted to know more about him.

“I thought we needed a fresh start. After Abby’s mom decided to give up joint custody, I felt like it was time for a change. I…I have a lot of regrets. I worked long hours. I wanted to be there for Abby, and I have very fond memories of growing up here.”

The lump in her throat made it hard for her to speak, and she knew her eyes must look glassy, but the emotion in his voice and the vulnerability wasn’t something she’d expected from him. She forced a smile. “For what it’s worth, Abby really seems like she’s doing great. She’s always happy after school. I think you’re doing a wonderful job.”

His jaw clenched, and he gave her a nod before moving away. “Thank you. I should probably get this lunch on the table. Thanks for bringing all this,” he said, his voice gruff.

She went to stand beside him, pulling out the containers from the bag, hoping her face wasn’t beet red. Standing this close to him, in his home, was making it so hard to resist him. He smelled like the outdoors, like a man, like…oh my goodness everything she’d denied herself for a lifetime. “Can I offer you something to drink? Wine? A beer?”

Oh, wine with Richard…but also Abby. Abby was here. Abby was the reason Maya was here—nothing more. She needed to remember that before she made a fool of herself. “Um, well, I’m not good with alcohol during the day.” Why did she say that? “I’ll stick with water and or coffee,” she said with an awkward laugh.

“Me too. I’m on call anyway. I can brew us a pot if you want to set up the food?”

“Sounds good,” she said, shooting him a smile and busying herself with the very domestic task of putting out lunch for the three of them.

“Did you have to renovate?” she asked as she set the table. The sound and smell of coffee brewing added to the coziness of the house, and it felt like a scene from a Christmas movie as the snow continued to fall outside.

He nodded, walking over with two mugs of steaming hot coffee. “It hadn’t been occupied since my parents lived here. It was dated, and a lot of the plumbing and fixtures needed work. I hired Jack Bailey and Connor O’Leary, and they started working on the place before we moved in. Pretty much done for now.”

“They did a great job. I can see they left a lot of the character in the place, though. I love that fireplace,” she said, her gaze trailing the floor to ceiling fieldstone fireplace.

“Thanks. Yeah, my dad and I built that,” he said, handing her a mug.

She smiled, trying not to look as though his fingers brushing against hers sent off a multitude of shivers of the best kind throughout her body. “Well, it’s beautiful.”

“He was very talented,” he said, clearing his throat and leaning against the counter. “Hardworking but always made time for my mom and me.”

They paused when they heard a large crash, followed by Abby’s voice. “Nobody panic! I’m fine! Just doing a little decorating in my room! Please call me when lunch is ready!”

“I’m not sure if I should believe her or not,” Richard said, shaking his head.

Maya laughed. “She sounded okay.”

“I’m sure I’ll pay for this later when I see her room,” he said dryly.

“She’s clearly happy,” she said softly, knowing that’s what he wanted most for her.

“I had a good childhood. I want the same for her,” he said, taking a sip of coffee.

She wanted to say she’d had a good childhood too, but that would be an outright lie. And she didn’t want to say something like, “I wish I did, too,” because that would sound like she was fishing or feeling sorry for herself. “I’m sure they’d be happy to know you and Abby were living here.”

His eyes glittered. “I hope so. I wish they’d have gotten to know her better. They died when she was three, and they’d only seen her once a year.” His voice sounded thick with emotion, and though he appeared stoic and alone, a part of her wanted to swallow up the space between them and hug him. He looked as though he was tormented by regrets, but she knew in her heart he was a good man.

“At least they knew her; they knew you had a child. That must have made them happy,” she said softly.

He shrugged, his eyes staring straight ahead. “It wasn’t enough, what I gave back to them. After everything they did for me. My mother died suddenly of a heart attack.”

He stopped speaking and cleared his throat. “I asked my dad at that point if he wanted to come and live with us in Chicago, but he refused to leave this place. He…uh, died six months later, in his sleep.”

She quickly wiped the tears that slipped from the corner of her eyes. His pain and guilt clung to every word in his deep voice. He looked strong yet vulnerable, lonely and stoic, and she wanted to cross the space between them and wrap her arms around him. “He died of a broken heart,” she whispered, then was horrified she’d said that out loud.

He turned sharply toward her, as though he’d forgotten she was in the room. His eyes were glittering and filled with sadness. “Someone said that to me once. I dismissed it.” He looked away for a moment then back at her, an expression in his eyes she couldn’t read yet made her hold her breath. “Maybe it’s true. Maybe he felt like he was nothing without her. They were so close, so in love.”

She forced a smile even though her heart was aching. “Maybe he wanted to be with her again…if they believed in that.”

He blinked, his face back to being stoic. “They believed. They believed in a lot of things that I dismissed because I thought all I needed was absolute truths; there was no room for anything else for me. But that’s not what happened in the end, because people are fallible and absolutes are not guaranteed in this world.”

“Maybe, or maybe you don’t need absolutes. Maybe you just need people who think the way you do. People who believe in the same things you do will share the dreams you have and will put those things you both value most first. People who believe in sticking it out when the times are tough and people who can still love when it seems like the whole world is falling apart.” She had no idea where that came from or what made her think she had any authority on anything; she’d never even had a real boyfriend. The last time she’d gone on a date, it had been a blind date set up by some well-meaning friends, and it had ended catastrophically with Maya stuck paying the bill because her date had whined about being fired from the gas station he was working at and had spent the last of his money on some gaming stuff and Cheetos, and had just found out that his mother was going to start charging him rent for living in her basement. She was taking the details of that date to the grave; she hadn’t even told her sisters.

“How do you know all that?” he asked.

She flinched. “I…don’t. I just… It’s common sense.”

His mouth did a little tilt on the one side. “Yeah. I was so busy chasing the wrong things that I forgot what really matters. Being back here makes me regret a lot of the choices I made,” he said.

“We can’t go back and change the past, as much as we might want to. If you keep thinking about it, what you could have done differently, how things might have turned out if you only made different decisions, you’ll ruin where you are right now. You’ll miss out on the joy right in front of you.” She stopped speaking abruptly, her cheeks feeling like they were on fire because she realized she’d made it sound like she was the joy standing right in front of him. “I mean, like, things. You know, Abby. Abby,” she said, stammering.

He gave a sharp nod and then moved across the kitchen. The man actually had to physically remove himself from her vicinity because he didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. Oh, he’d discovered her sad crush and didn’t want to lead her on. It would have been noble if it didn’t involve herself being the object of his pity.

“Maya, look what I found! It’s Dad’s old stocking!”

They both turned to look at Abby, who was standing in the doorway holding up an old, handmade felt stocking with Richard’s name stitched across the front in red. “Wow, I forgot about that,” Richard said, a half smile on the corner of his mouth as he walked over.

Abby held it out for him. “Be careful, Dad. It looks really old.”

He chuckled, gently taking the needlepoint stocking. “I remember your grandma working on this for months at night. I begged her to let me cut out my name in felt letters,” he said, the smile and the nostalgia in his voice making tears prick the back of her eyes.

“She must not have liked you making these sloppy letters,” Abby said earnestly.

Richard kept smiling. “She was too nice to say it, though. She did try to discourage me, but I was pretty stubborn, and I begged and begged. When she finally said yes, I tried cutting perfectly shaped letters for hours, and I kind of knew that I was going to ruin the stocking. I left the letters all over my floor, knowing there was no way I’d attach them. The next morning, my stocking was hung on the mantel, with my felt letters glued on. My mom said I should be as proud of all my hard work as she was.”

Maya surreptitiously swiped away the tears from the corner of her eyes. Her mother would have never done that. God forbid something or someone was less than perfect in her house. God forbid her mother ever notice that sometimes the best things weren’t in perfect packages.

“I wish Grammy and Grandpa were still here, Dad,” she whispered, looking up at Richard with tears in her eyes. Maya suddenly felt like she shouldn’t be here, intruding on this family moment.

Richard crouched down and grasped his daughter by the shoulders. “Me too. I do know that they would have been as proud as I am about the little girl you are. You’ve had so much change to deal with this last year, Abby, and you are handling it all so well. And I’m happy that I have you by my side every day,” he said, pulling her into a hug. Maya tried not to sob loudly and tiptoed to the box of Kleenex on the side table. She had never felt like this before. She wanted to be with Richard; she was falling in love with Richard and his little girl. They were everything she had ever wanted in a family…except for the fact that they were off limits.

A New Beginning 5

Richard spotted Maya the second he and Abby got out of the car.

She was standing near the entrance of Target, holding two Starbucks coffees in her hands. Even from the distance, she stood out. Her dark hair was pulled back loosely in that messy bun she usually wore, the one that had him wishing he could pull it out and run his fingers through it, the one that made him think she was shy. Her red coat and dark jeans fit her body, highlighting her curves, but as they approached, it was her doe eyes that held him and made him wish he was a different man…the kind of man who had a right to pursue a woman like Maya.

“I’m so excited. This is going to be the best day ever. I can’t believe Maya said she had time to meet us, and it’s not even like she’s babysitting me. Do you think she really likes me, Dad, and wants to spend time with me?”

Richard tore his eyes off Maya and stopped walking, looking down at his daughter. Her words made it impossible to keep walking, to ignore the underlying insecurity she was expressing. He wanted to blame it all on Alexandra, this incredulity she had that an adult who wasn’t being paid would want to spend time with her. Sure, he could blame a big chunk of it on Alexandra, especially since she’d texted him during the night saying she was in love with Paris and didn’t know when she’d be home, but he hadn’t told that to Abby yet. But the truth was that he was to blame as well; he had been so focused on saving the lives of others, he’d taken for granted the life in his own house. He’d acted like the other adults who hadn’t thought she was important.

By some divine kind of intervention, though, his daughter was allowing him back in her life as a trusted parent. She held his hand as though they’d done this every day. She looked up at him and spoke to him as though they’d always been close, and now she was letting him into her most vulnerable thoughts. And what did he say? How did he answer that question? Yes, he knew Maya was different from any woman he’d ever met. Yes, he sensed she had a huge heart. Yes, he thought Maya was a very special woman…but he couldn’t make promises for Maya, and he couldn’t promise her that Maya would always be around.

He crouched down and answered what she asked and nothing more. “Of course Maya likes you. She replied right away last night when I texted her. She wouldn’t have offered to watch you after school or skate with you for the Christmas show if she didn’t like you.”

Abby gave him a wobbly smile that tore at him. “Okay, Dad,” she said, walking again. “I’m so happy I met Maya. She’s like my best grownup friend.”

He wanted to say she was his best adult friend too, but that was wishful thinking. Abby broke free from him and made a beeline for Maya, almost knocking her and the coffees over with her overzealous hug. He joined them, and Maya was laughing as she handed him a coffee.

“Thanks. Good morning, Maya,” he said.

She shot him a smile that made him forget that he couldn’t have a woman in his life again. People barreled by them, the crowd already making his skin crawl as they walked toward the door.

“Good morning. I thought we might need some reinforcements,” she said as they followed Abby, who was already grabbing a shopping cart from the row. Excitement seemed to cling to the air, despite the frazzled faces of adults trying to check off items from their lists.

“This may not be enough,” he said. “Unless this is spiked, nothing will make shopping on a Saturday during the holiday season any less painful.”

She shot him a look. “Are you kidding me? This is the best time to shop. The hustle, the bustle, the temper tantrums, the lists, the Christmas music, the decorations. Nothing beats this.”

He didn’t know what to say. How could anyone be this cheerful? “Well, I think Abby agrees with you. She’s been up for hours, plotting.”

“Over here!” Abby yelled, stopping at the display of trees and ornaments.

Maya smiled at his daughter and sped up. They joined her, and Richard looked from her to Abby. “Please tell me one of you knows what to buy.”

Abby grinned. “Oh, Dad, leave it to us.”

They laughed, and Maya joined Abby, and the two of them walked through the aisle. “Do you have a color theme you think you’d like?” Maya asked.

Abby started grabbing boxes of ornaments off the shelves and tossing them into the cart. “Red and green. Maybe gold so that the tree is extra sparkly.” She made her way down the aisle, searching each shelf thoroughly.

Maya looked over at him, and he nodded. Really, what did it matter to him? This was all for Abby anyway. The magic of the holidays had been lost on him for years, since he was a kid. His parents had loved Christmas, and while he hadn’t let himself think about it in years, so had he. He wanted Abby to have that. No, he wanted more than that…he wanted her to have that and never lose it, like the woman standing beside him. Maya looked as animated as his daughter. He tried to force a pleasant smile on his face, like he liked Christmas.

“Okay and what about the tree?” Maya asked, looking at him. She had eyes that made him want to believe in everything his daughter did. She made it seem like everything was easy…this whole shopping on a Saturday like a family did. He and Alexandra had never done this. He’d worked on Saturdays, and she’d spent the day working out and destressing at the spa. And Abby…she’d spent the day with her nanny. He looked away from both of them, hating himself. If Maya knew the kind of person he’d been, she’d be disgusted.

“Dad got us one yesterday. It’s real,” Abby said, grabbing more boxes of ornaments.

“I love real trees,” Maya said, smiling at the both of them. He had gotten the real tree because Abby had wanted it so badly. He had so much making up to do.

Maya pointed to the boxes of lights, and he tried not to check out her cute butt when her coat rose. God, was he really this much of an ass? One minute he was vowing to stay away from Maya and the next he was checking her out. “What about lights?”

“All the colors,” Abby said, marching down the aisle.

Richard pushed the cart and told himself to keep his thoughts platonic and his focus on Abby. He caught the moment when Maya’s smile dropped, and he forced himself to look pleasant even though he had now gotten himself into a mood. But he didn’t want her to think he didn’t want her here. “She seems to know what she wants,” Maya said, shooting him an awkward smile.

“I’m glad, because I have no idea what I’m doing actually,” he said, trying to infuse humor, trying to make her feel welcome.

He had spent months trying to ignore his attraction to Maya. It had been easier when he didn’t spend much time with her. But now that Abby seemed to push them together, he couldn’t ignore that it was more than attraction. It was something he hadn’t experienced before; that was what made him want to run in the other direction.

“I’m going to go check out the display at the end of the aisle,” Maya said while Abby studied different types of lights. He had no idea she even knew what she was reading on the boxes.

“Sure,” he said, trying not to let his relief show as she walked in the opposite direction. He focused on Abby and tried to be patient when she told him she thought they needed twenty boxes of lights and that they should consider stringing lights around each window and doorway and possibly the toilets in their house.

When he sent her to put back five boxes of lights, he spotted a guy talking to Maya from the corner of his eye. Richard tried to focus on what Abby was ordering him to buy, but he was watching the guy that was talking Maya’s ear off. He could tell from her expression she wasn’t impressed. But her cheeks were flushed, and he hoped to God that didn’t mean she was actually interested in him. Not that she couldn’t be interested in someone. Of course she could, just not that guy. He didn’t look good enough for her…first off, he should consider shaving; secondly, he was too old for those ripped jeans; and third, those cans of Pringles under his arm indicated a very unhealthy diet.

“Dad, for the billionth time, what do you like better for the top of the tree? The star or the angel?”

Richard tore his gaze from Maya and that guy to look at his adorable daughter, who was frowning at him and holding up two boxes. He was startled at the familiar frown—it was his. How could he never have noticed that before? It was scary. He smiled sheepishly and looked at the two boxes. A memory of his mother carefully unwrapping a gold beaded star jogged through his mind. He had loved that star. His father would place it on top of the tree when they’d finished decorating it every year. “Would you like to see the star I used to put on the tree when I was your age?”

Her eyes widened. “Like from the olden days?”

He stifled his laugh, because she looked serious. “Yes, from the twentieth century. I bet it’s in a box in the basement. We can look for it when we go home.”

She nodded. “Sure!”

When she went to put back the stars, he glanced back over at Maya and whoever it was that wouldn’t stop talking. He narrowed his eyes as he noticed the guy seemed to have moved closer to Maya. This was the longest pickup he’d ever witnessed. Maya’s face was still red, and she unbuttoned her coat and took it off, draping it over one arm. His gaze darted back to the guy with the dirty facial hair, and he narrowed his eyes as he noticed him appreciatively taking in Maya’s curves. He said something that Richard couldn’t quite make out. Maya rolled her eyes and then walked back over to them. He glared at the guy because he’d actually turned around to check Maya out from behind. Richard quickly looked down at his phone as Maya approached.

“Everything okay?” he asked as she threw her coat into the top of the cart.

“I just need to run to the washroom. I’ll meet you back here,” she whispered, not making eye contact with him. He frowned, watching her walk away. Did that guy piss her off? Had he said something inappropriate? Maybe he should have gone over and broken it up, but it wasn’t his place because he’d promised himself he was only going to be friends with Maya. He’d assumed her flushed face was because she was interested.

…

Maya ran the cold water in the washroom, letting it cool her hands. She would have splashed water on her face except she’d gone to the trouble of putting on makeup this morning, and she didn’t want to ruin it. She stared at her reflection but didn’t see the woman she was staring back. She saw the teenager whose face was filled with pimples and puffiness, and she saw the girl who hated herself, who would go asleep crying, wishing she could look like her tall and slim sisters.

She wished she could go back and tell her it would all be okay, that she’d come out on the other side. She wished she could go back and tell her that high school wouldn’t last forever, that all those people wouldn’t mean anything to her…but maybe that last part was a lie, because the man she’d just talked to still meant something. He hadn’t known who she was, he hadn’t recognized her, and she didn’t have the nerve to let him know he was one of the cruelest people she’d ever met.

He’d stood there today, talking and laughing about something dumb. Then he’d asked for her number; he’d said he’d love to take her out some time. She wanted to tell him that he’d told her that once before, before he’d stood her up in front of the entire school, before he’d help plot the most humiliating night of her life. But she hadn’t told him who she was, and a part of her had relished in him asking for her number today; a part of her had inwardly gloated when his gaze had flickered with attraction for her; and the other part had wanted to puke or rip one of those cans of Pringles from his hands and bash it on his head repeatedly while telling him what an ass she thought he was.

She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. Two kids came barreling into the washroom, one yelling they might not make it to the toilet. A frazzled mother came running in after them. Maya shot the woman a sympathetic smile and left, knowing she had to rejoin Richard and Abby. She spotted his tall figure at the end of the aisle, and her heart squeezed as he smiled down at his daughter, who was jumping and waving tinsel in his face. Richard was a difficult man to figure out; sometimes he came across as almost cold and indifferent, but now that she was spending more time with him, she was coming to realize that it could actually be discomfort. He didn’t seem to know how to act around his own daughter. From what she’d gathered from Abby, they hadn’t spent much time together as a family.

He looked over at Maya, making eye contact across the busy aisle, and her breath caught at the look on his face; it was the look of a man happy to see her. Or a man interested in her. But when she blinked, it was gone, and Abby was running up to her, waving gold tinsel in one hand and silver in the other. “We must get these! What do you think, Maya? And which color? I say both. Gold, silver, gold, silver all over the tree!”

Maya laughed and looked up at Richard, who shrugged, a smile curling his lips at his daughter’s antics. “If your dad agrees, I think it’s just what your tree needs.”

Abby spun around and threw the tinsel in the cart. “You were the deciding vote. Dad already said he’d agree with what you said.”

Maya picked up her coffee she’d left in the cart, avoiding Richard’s smile. It was strange how natural it felt to be shopping with them…well, besides the awkward feelings she had toward Richard. “This cart is pretty packed. Anything else on the list?” Maya asked, needing to occupy herself so she didn’t stare at him.

“Just hot chocolate and marshmallows,” Abby said, steering the cart toward the food section.

They followed her, trying to keep pace despite the crowds. “You run into an old friend?” Richard asked, shooting her a look that she couldn’t quite figure out.

Maya shrugged, not wanting to tell him exactly who that was, but not wanting him to think she was hiding something…or that she was interested in James. “More like an old acquaintance from high school.”

“Oh, he didn’t look like he knew you.”

That was because the jerk didn’t recognize her. He had no idea he’d been talking to Fatty Maya, and she hadn’t wanted to tell him because she’d derived some kind of perverse satisfaction in knowing he was unknowingly trying to pick up the girl he’d spent years making fun of. “He’s not too bright,” she said, unable to think of anything kinder to say. “I’m not a fan of dumb men.”

Richard’s mouth twitched at the corners as though that made him happy or something.

Abby stopped in the middle of the aisle once she’d added the hot chocolate and marshmallows, oblivious to the shoppers irritated by her obstructing traffic flow. “All right, let’s go. We need to pay and go back home and start decorating. Dad’s on-call this weekend, which means as soon as we’re about to have fun someone is going to need to be cut open.”

Maya covered her mouth as Abby charged forward with her cart, leading the way toward the cashier. Richard glanced over at her. “There’s actually a bit more to the job than she makes it out to be.”

Maya laughed, and Richard surprised her by smiling at her. A full-on, thousand-watt smile that almost made her trip over her own feet. “I know it is. I always admired my sisters for the number of hours they worked and the emotional toll of their careers. You guys see things that the rest of the world is sheltered from, and then you have to somehow compartmentalize it and move on and try and have a normal life with your own families.”

Her smiled wobbled at the look on his face, but he turned from her, looking ahead at Abby. “Sometimes it’s hard to find the balance, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my personal life, things I wish I could go back and fix.”

What did that mean? She was guessing he meant spending more time with Abby, because it was clear that he was working on building a relationship with his daughter. But did he also regret how things ended with his wife? Did he want to get back together with her? She would have to step aside; there was no way she’d let herself become involved with a guy who was still married in his heart. And there was no way she’d come between a family that had a chance of getting back together. She looked over at him. “I hate thinking that anything is ever permanent, that mistakes are too big to ever be fixed, especially when there is a willingness to try. Abby is looking happier by the day, so I think you should give yourself some credit for that.”

His eyes were intense, sparkling with something as he ran his hand through his hair. “I think I’d like to adopt your philosophy,” he said, his voice gruff.

“Over here,” Abby yelled, waving at the front of a cash line whose lineup wasn’t too bad.

“Clearly, confidence isn’t a problem for her,” he said.

Maya laughed. When they were done paying and checking out, they walked out to the parking lot. Snow fell in haphazard tufts, and the sky was dark, promising more precipitation for the day. “Well, I hope you guys have a great day. You’re going to be busy for hours, I think,” she said as Richard closed the trunk.

“What? Aren’t you going to come over and help us set up our tree?” Abby said, looking up at her with those eyes that always made her heart squeeze.

“Abby, I’m sure Maya is busy today. It’s her only day off. Besides, don’t you have any confidence in me?”

Abby shot him a look that clearly said no, she did not have confidence in him. “Pleeeease, Maya. I can show you my room! You haven’t seen it.”

“Oh, sweetie, I would love to see it, but this sounds like a great day to just do something special with your dad. I can come over any time,” Maya said, reaching out to tuck a strand of Abby’s hair behind her ear.

Abby’s eyes filled with tears. “You’re my best friend, Maya. Please come over,” she whispered, tears tumbling from her eyes.

Maya tore her gaze from Abby’s to look at Richard. He ran his hands down his face. This wasn’t normal for Abby. The little girl was usually in great spirits after school. Maya crouched down, and emotion swelled in her chest as Abby wrapped her arms around her neck. Maya hugged her back and knew Abby was still vulnerable from the divorce. Even though her natural disposition was happiness, she was still hurting and confused. “Okay, if your dad doesn’t mind, there is nothing I’d rather be doing today than helping you get your house ready for Christmas.”

Abby squeezed her tighter before letting go and smiling up at her, wiping the tears from her face. Richard looked at Maya. His hands were in his pockets, and his eyes were shadowed. “Thanks, Maya. I hope we’re not intruding on any plans you had.”

“Of course not. This is the best offer I’ve had all month,” she said, winking at Abby, who had taken her hand.

“Can I ride home with Maya?”

Maya’s mouth dropped open as hurt flashed across Richard’s features. She leaned down. “Sweetie, why don’t you keep your dad company? I have an errand to run first, and then I’ll be over, okay?”

Abby shrugged and nodded. “Okay, Maya.”

Maya shot Richard an awkward smile. “I’ll be over soon.”

His jaw was clenched, and he nodded. “Thanks.”

He opened the back door for Abby and then closed it once she was inside. He turned back to Maya. “We’ll see you in a bit, I guess.”

“Great.” She walked back to her car, her heart feeling heavy. She had no idea how she was getting involved in their family issues. It had started as her doing a favor for a little girl who seemed lost, but now it was evolving into something more, and she was worried Abby was going to get too attached to her.